Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Carcinogen, Dec 13, 2007.

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  1. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    What do I do? I need to cut but I can't end up like last time. There was blood everywhere, in the toilet, all over the floor, some up the walls of the cubicle. It felt so good, but I passed out, then when I came round I was late for my lesson and I had to get a lot of drying blood off the floor, or else someone might have reported seeing me there.

    I don't care, I need it. I'm trying to stop, but fuck knows why, this helps, not as much as dying will, but still a bit fuck it i can't take it. srry for this post its point;ess
  2. riz

    riz Senior Member

    This post is not pointless at all. I know exactly what you're going through. When I cut, I am very meticulous and clean. I try not to be messy so no one knows about it until it's already healed. On the other hand, my suicide attempts were messy as hell and when I woke up, I just had a lot to clean. This is not advice at all, trust me. I don't advocate my behavior, I just understand what you're going through.

    I just want you to know that cutting may be a temporary solution, but getting on the road to recovery is much less painful. I would try any of the alternatives listed in this forum and please try not to cut. I know that is hypocritical of me to say, but this life wasn't meant for any of us.

    Please stay safe, and if you need anything, PM me.
    With love, :lips:
  3. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Heyy hun.

    It's not pointless :hug:

    It's hard to quit. Overtime you come dependent on cutting. I have, I have tried to quit many times but always found myself falling further than before and needing to cut again. Have you tried getting help to quit? Tried anyother methods of coping other than cutting? We can all help you quit if you want to, but you need to want to. I understand if you don't want to though. I myself have decided to life with it.

    As for getting like before... control yourself. It takes a while to learn control but... you need to. Any time you feel you need to cut, talk to us ok? Try to avoid it.

    If you need anything, PM me or aomething. I'll do my best hun :hug:

    Take care and keep strong,
  4. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    I don't think I can quit. If I do that, I probably won't have any way of coping, and I'll go completely insane. As for control, I thought I was in control. I was making sure the blades I used weren't sharp enough to do any real damage, and I even stopped for a bit. After 5 years, I thought I'd learned how to not make mistakes like this. More fool me. I didn't go quite as mental this time, still pretty bad. I'm just going to have to make sure I don't carry anything sharp enough to really do damage *sigh* makes me feel like a little kid again. 'You can't have that you might hurt yourself'...oh well.

    Thanks for reading and caring :smile:
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