Negative events and the human mind.

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Would you people agree that its safe to say that everyones born with a sane mind like totally normal with like particular personality traits (people bieng more considerate or colder than others and so on) but as we progress through life the brain can be corrupted through traumatic events or perhaps events that happened or even didnt happen than can alter the way you think and percieve things from then on. I say this because I have met people who are truely amazing charracters and popular as well as pretty or handsome
yet Are not happy.
I remember I knew a guy in college when I went there years ago he was an extravert if i've ever seen one he was the most lively talky person you'd ever meet he was popular and attractive he had everything. I did befriend him and one day he came clean after a night of drinking (he wasnt drunk he was just a little more open with people) I remember mentioning at one point as me and him were walking home about how many friends he had and so on and he turned to me and said "Curt i'm the most lonely and unhappy person you'll ever meet." I remember bieng purely shocked and asking "what do you mean? you have it all man" he looked at me with a dead serious expression and seemed his eyes were watering a little like he was on the verge of crying. We carried on I was curious to talk about it with him as I could relate to it. But it seemed he didnt want to. I'll Remmeber it because he was the last person you'd think would be depressed bieng he had so much the looks the friends the education yet he was in his own little world of hurt. The mask of happyness can be deluding.

I guess the point was he should have been truely happy and not "puttin on a show" and I dont know about his past but maybe he was damaged mentally at a young age maybe even abused which caused him to go down the route of self loathe and despair. The point is HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN LIKE THAT. It seems the case with alot of people who are fine its just things have gone wrong in the brain chemistry from events long ago maybe ones they cant even remember. Anyone know what i'm talking about when you get these hotshot "altrapenur" type youngsters who arnt really all that like there not exeptionally nice people although ok there not very attractive yet they get things done and go high up and get with beautiful women. You'd think judging by my old friend that it should be the other way round but I guess the people who are born with confidence and never get traumatized by traumatic events seem to get by and do well without emotional baggage.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this whole mental health from the past thing? can anyone relate or mention any examples? thx.
I'm not entirely sure I can agree with that. For the most part, I'd say yes. But aren't there people who have mental disorders that become apparent from a very young age, even if nothing traumatic has happened?
(I can't give any examples. This is just my thoughts really).
I see your point about the whole happiness thing. I mean, setting aside my own feelings here, I have a friend who is about the happiest, smiliest person you could ever meet. She does a whole lot of things with kids. And yet back in March I discovered that because she had so much going on in her life, she was suddenly suicidal, and it turned out that that wasn't a new thing, she had actually attempted at the age of 9, because she'd been being bullied. NINE.
So, I agree with you. That obviously stayed with her - I mean, the way she wanted to 'deal' with things was to kill herself. Not everybody's first reaction to pressure.
When you say that the guy "shouldn't have been like that" though - I don't know. Some people believe that there is such a thing as Fate, that some people are just naturally destined to have lives that are never quite what other people think they should be. It's...I guess it depends on what you believe. Do you mean, "Nobody should have a life like that"; or do you mean "Well, HE shouldn't, he was a good guy and didn't deserve it"; or in fact do you mean "He was handsome and popular, he doesn't have the right to feel that way because he has everything"?
I mean, I think you meant the second one, but whichever one you pick, I guess, depends a lot on how YOU are feeling. I mean, whether you are down and feel that no one deserves to feel that bad; or whether you think, ok, maybe some people do/maybe I do, but other people don't (the whole inferiority complex rearing its ugly head again); or whether you're bitter that you feel bad and others feel just as bad even though you feel they have less reason to.

Sorry, I realise that kind of went away from the subject there. But you see my you? That the way that our mental state affects not only how we see the world, but also how we view the mental states of others?

That was basically what I wanted to say :laugh: Hope it wasn't too confusing...


I'll say this is very interesting Milkdrops.

I've thought on and off about this myself, and there are alot of things I've found, and things I haven't, but I'd love to compare my 'research' to yours.

I've thought about it, the 'blank slate'. In a mental standpoint, as a newly born child, I think it's best to say that at that moment it's born, it's a blank slate. Completely.

Now, before I get into cause and effect, I think that the genetics and what not is passed through a little later in life, but also acts as 'passive' response.

For Cause and effect, think for a moment...

Say there are two children. At a very young age, as babies, they are very very open minded and effected by things on a large scale. At this time, they don't exactly function with all the functions we have (almost like a instinctual thing, because most of use talkl to ourselves with our native language in our mind) So, they figure things off of impulse. Which is probably way faster then how older people do it, but that's beside the point.

Say of the parents has a big red ball. They roll it to one child, and the child laughs and smiles at the way it feels. Yet, when the parent does iti to the other, the other cries and frowns.

What I've noticed, there are two factors here. Current mood, and genetics. Let's use this example, with the two babies being twins.

If one baby was frustrated, and the other content, then they're responses are easily seen. But, like I said earlier, with as sensitive as their minds are, they are effected.

So, with the responses they gave, one could choose the favorite color as red, from there on, and the other would fear red, or possibly how the ball felt. Now that's getting a bit ahead, because all through life we face these impulses and decisions, and we choose (subconsciously) an emotion towards that.

Let's say one of these babies has an encounter with a spider. And it was frightening, because it moves fast and is small, yet a dark color. WOuld it not be fair to say that there is a possibility, that that baby may eitheer fear or love spiders? Depending on his response?

Not necesarilly, but fair to say it plays a part.

What about the people who say they remember things from childhood, or people who have feelings towards certain things, yet doesn't know why.

'Trauma', in this case, I think is a measurement. Like with the spider example, let's take this to another level.

Say a girl is depressed over something.

And this girl happened to be afraid of dogs (from a fewwe experiences throughout life) and was abused as a young child, sometimes too early to remember. What do you think she wouldl remember more often?

Well, what would be more traumatizing?

That's where it depends on the severity. I think in this theory, there is a level of trauma for everything. Everything we experience, we choose how to react, and that is our feelings, our 'experience' with that sort of thing.

This girl, possibly would tell a friend, she is dead scared of dogs, yet doesn't know why. Or possibly does, but the situation then matters as well.

The fact is, there are many, if not, tons of things that play parts in how we react to things. But it also depends when we go back and reflect on this.

Let's say there is a guy, who had a car accident when he was younger. Let's say this individual felt very strongly about the event. He felt it was his fault. So, after dwelling on it, he increased that already big trauma, and made it into a bigger one, even if it wasn't intended.

So if hes guilty and afraid, because of what happened, wouldn't you think this guy would be a little, if not greatly nervous when behind a wheel?

It's the same in all cases, just more of 'how bad' it was, 'what it was', and the 'moods of then and now'.

If this person was in a positive mood, and slowly resovled WHY he made the mistake, he would minimize the trauma that occured to him..

There are way too many things that play in part. Atleast for trauma.

But those are examples, and my theories...

It's just like the people here.

Their opinions and experience, 'decorate' these blank slates, and make it so they are not blank. Some are better then others, some are worse. It depends on how things happened.

That's why I think we are all so different, in many ways, yet similar in so many others.

Genetics only add to that, by changing physical things (like chemical imbalances and transfered diseases) That effect our blank slates, so we take events differently.

I think it's alot to choke down, I'll get more into this after a little while.
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