I grew up in an environment where expressing a negative emotion was unacceptable. Complaining at all, about anything, was not allowed and crying or being sad was a route to instant ridicule. I learnt that how I feel - unless how I feel is "fine" - is silly/unreasonable/ridiculous. You grow up, you move away from the influence of your family, and you discover that they were not necessarily right about everything. I started to teach myself to express myself - to (eventually) say so if I am unhappy or feel sad or do not like something. A good thing you would think. Only then I got depression - and was sad all the time for no reason. I developed social anxiety and was worried and anxious and jittery for no reason. I suddenly needed to relearn that how I felt was silly/unreasonable/ridiculous. I am better now - far better - than I was. The anxiety is far far less, the depression comes in waves and is not constant. But I no longer have any idea whether it is okay to feel how I feel. When someone tells you that you are being silly, that your anxiety or fear is unreasonable - how are you supposed to know if they are right? How do you know when to express how you feel or when to shut the hell up because you are probably being stupid and you are tired of your emotions being a burden and taking up time they should not be taking up? I do not know how to react the 'right' way - I do not have sufficient control over my emotions for that. The best I can do is box off how I feel, convince myself it is unwarranted and to feel it quietly, trying not to let it effect logical decisions. Not let it out in the open where it needlessly takes up anyone else's time or energy. How do you know whether the negative thing you feel is a legitimate feeling? How do you know if you are justified in expressing it and "causing a fuss" about it or whether you should shut the hell up and try your best to stamp it down and not feel it because it is stupid and unwarranted?