There's times where I make threads and whenever they get ignored I immediately fall into pessimism. Sometimes I figure oh why bother. People don't care. People are self creatures anyways. All they care about is themselves. Nobody cares. People just suck. Plain and simple. Nobody cares unless they have something to get out of it. Than I fall into a deep dark depression because half my life I've been a loner, got rejected by people, ignored, made fun, bullied, abused by people, walked over and told that I'm stupid for not being smart. Than people wonder why I'm so negative, angry and full of pure hate sometimes. My self esteem is so low. There's times where I even call myself stupid and a idiot. My therapist tells me to give myself nothing but love and care and I look at like she's crazy. People tell me that I'm good person and once again I don't believe them. So many people in my life has ditched me, abandoned me due to my depression. Than when I'm with people and actually have friends I'm actually happy and a smile actually spreads across my face. I have 0 friends where I live. None. The only person who I see is someone who lives 2 hrs away and I can only see him every once in awhile. I just moved to a new city and I don't know anyone. I'm not the type of person to go out to bars either. Now I'm seriously thinking maybe that it's better to be alone, than I won't have to worry about people hurting me. Once again I doubt anyone cares what I have to say anyways. I'm just a stupid F-ing person anyways.