Negligence?

[USFBULL]

Hi all.
On October 6th, my 16 year old daughter took a large amount of aspirin, some tylenol, and the ADD drug Adderall. Ultimately, she passed away just past midnight due to the aspirin ingestion. She lived with her mother (we divorced way back in '91), but actually lived most of her life with me. It was only a few years ago when she expressed the deisre to live with her mom and we made that happen.

I honestly believe that it was not my daughter's intent to actually committ suicide. At 4:30 PM, about 3 hours after she ingested the pills, she asked her older step sisters for help. One sister called my daughter's mother, the other called poison control. Poison control informed them that this was a very serious and dangerous situation and informed the sister that my daughter needed to get to an ER right away.

My daughter's mother decided she would drive 45 minutes home, wait for her husband, then drive to the hospital. This delay cost my daughter 90 minutes, and eventually her life. She didn't tell the sisters to call 9-1-1. She didn't tell them to take her to the ER. She didn't take it seriously.

I'm in pain. I miss her so much. I love her so much. I don't know how I'm supposed to go on.

Why didn't her mother call 9-1-1-????? I don't know if this is the right forum to ask, so please forgive me if it's not... but, does her mother's lack of acting constitute criminal negligence???? How the Hell does a parent not call 9-1-1???

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

I am very sorry for your loss. That was a very great loss. I could imagine having a child then watching them grow up and then lose them, you must be in awful pain. You can post about this here, most people here are suicidal or depressed, but there is a section to the forum specially for this type of thing. It's called "Loved and lost" .....I am here if you ever need to talk. And I would like to welcome you whole heartedly to this forum. If you ever need anything let me know......I just have a loss for words, it's so sad I feel so awful about this.....for you. Please take care. :hug: :hug: :hug:






~With lots of hugs,
Carolyn~

 

[Terry]

I don't know USF, but I can imagine the shock and distress you must be feeling at the moment (being a parent myself).

I know there is nothing I can say to make any of this better, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and please feel free to pm anytime you need to talk.

So so sorry.

 

[Insignificant]

i am really sorry to hear that you have had to go through this. i really am. honestly it's my opinion it is completely neglegant! i couldn't and wouldn't even fathom doing that to one of my kids. she was looking out for what was good for her not your daughter period, and that is neglegant and wrong. people like her piss me right the hell off. she should be locked up for a while and really think about what she did as if she won't already.

anyways, please take care and if u want to talk just pm or mail me. i'm in the book. tc

 

[xan]

From what i know about english law you either want her charged with gross negligence manslaughter, where you'd have to show she had been negligent to such a degree that by all means it was necessary to be punished criminally. Or if you want to get her in basic negligence then you'd just get money for the pain she's caused you or possibly custady over any other children she takes care of, i'm not certain though. For that you'd just have to show a basic breach of duty. I'm not sure how different the U.S law is though... sorry

 

[USFBULL]

Hi all,

Thanks for the replies and words of encouragement... it means a lot. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm going about and gathering all of the information from the night my daughter died: cell phone records, ER records, etc. As of 1 AM EST, it has been 3 weeks since she's been gone, but it seems like just yesterday. I keep thinking that I'm going to hear from her, that she's going to call me or something. When does that end?

As for her mother, I can't help but feel like I want her to suffer... like I want her to realize the part she played in our daughter's death. I don't know.. maybe it's just my emotions, but I feel like she should pay somehow.

Thanks again for your support.

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

You're welcome.... We are here for you anytime you need to talk...



Take care of yourself, ok?




~Carolyn

 

[joeysephine]

maybe she didnt call 9 1 1 because it was out of no were and she didnt know how to think, some people are like that, something major happens and they just carry on with there lives, i dunno tho

 

[Darken]

My sister is bipolar and I remember I was choking once and I said help help and for about a minute she kept watching tv and eating like I wasnt serious . I finally coughed up the food and I said why didnt you help me? I dont remember but that has always bothered me.

 

[resistance]

I'm sorry to hear what has happened and it's normal for you to be feeling a lot of pain right now. I don't know why her mother didn't call for an ambulance, perhaps if you were to talk to her you'd gain a greater understanding. It's a hard time for you right now, for you and her mother because even though she waited before calling 911, I'm sure she is most probably hurting too and is probably kicking herself for waiting so long.. Even if you and your daughters mother don't get on, I think you'll need to try and put aside your differences for a while and lean on each other. Take care of yourself, and we're here whenever you want to chat and/or vent. :hug:

 

[USFBULL]

I guess the thing that burns me up is that her mother was, and still is, the type of person who never takes personal responsibility for anything. I honestly believe that she'll never seriously contemplate whether her lack of action contributed to our daughter's death. I guess that's why I'm considering pressing some sort of charges, likely negligence, against her. I want someone unbiased and neutral to tell her "you really screwed up not taking your daughter seriously and getting her help". I'm SO ANGRY about all of this!!! THe more I replay events in my mind... the more I'm convinced that my daughter should STILL be with me!!!!

 

[Hazel]

Hello Usfbull, I am so sorry that this terrible tragedy happened, the loss of a child is surely the most painful experience a parent ever has to suffer and my thoughts are with you at this sad time.
Right now you are in pain, your emotions are raw, it is understandable that you feel your daughter's mother should bear some (or all) of the responsibility for your daughters death but I really feel that, if it is at all possible you should talk to her and see what she has to say, I am sure she is hurting right now too.. both of you are grieving for the daughter you have loved & lost.

Take care Hazel x