Neither here, nor there

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MsMcLovin, Sep 28, 2010.

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  1. MsMcLovin

    MsMcLovin New Member

    Hi.

    Sorry to bother everyone but I feel like I am heading for a second breakdown. The first time round I o'd;though my family never found out. I am a regular self-harmer;though I have lasted almost 5 months without doing anything until the last week.

    I am just so over worked right now. Someone left a different office and I have had to overtake their duties. I don't get paid any extra for it. I am also having to sit exams whilst working full time. I just get imposed upon. Am I a doormat?? They say they want people to work overtime now but I can't because I am so behind on the studying. It doesn't help that I am too tired when I get home because I haven't slept a wink the night before and all I do is sleep to catch up. I am worrying about all kinds of stuff.

    I have stopped talking to my family. I don't have any friends. There are certain things I remember from my past which I really don't want to recall. I don't leave the house unless it is to go to work. I have just started anti depressants again and genuinely feel worse.

    The past two days all I have thought about is trying to end it all again. I feel desperate to get away from the situation. But there doesn't seem to be anyone I can talk to. I don't want to end up spilling my emotions at work and getting the sack. But I can't stop myself crying whenever I am there. I don't want to live another 8 years with the same misery. I thought people were supposed to enjoy life but it has felt pretty crappy for a while.
     
  2. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    Hi first of all :welcome: to SF
    Im so sorry iv only just seen your post.
    I hope you are feeling better?
    You are no bother at all
    Your work are deffinately putting too much pressure on you, expecting you to do a job for 2 people and then over time on top. I know what you mean about being a doormat, i never used to be able to say no to my managers, when i was at college i did more hours at my "weekend" job i was there more times than full time staff. I still cant some times but if i dont want to do it i just laugh at them and they no i wont do it. Strange but it works for me. You need to have some down time for yourself to relax. Is hard at first but just tell them you cant do any more work.
    Are you also having counselling?
    I hope you continue to post here.
     
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