Every day I think about suicide and every day I have to put it off because I have to make sure something happens first. There is never a convenient time to kill yourself. Like just a few minutes ago I was thinking.."hmm I could kill myself tonight... Oh wait I have to make sure my sister gets up to school.. I guess I could do it during school in the bathroom... Oh wait my dad might be in the hospital tomorrow and who would be there for my sister when she got home?... I guess I could do it after she gets home safely.. Oh wait".. and the cycle just keeps on going. I feel like I'm not allowed to die. I'm expected to continue on when I rather just quit. I'm just so done. I literally live just to support my sister because my dad won't do it. He is supposed to be the parent and instead I am. I'm not allowed to kill myself because she needs me. I absolutely hate it. [**Moderator Edit: Removed death threats]. Ugh. I'm just so angry and tired and depressed. I just want everything to end. Well if you read this whole thing, thank you, and I'm sorry for the ranting. I just don't know what to do anymore.