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Never a right time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darkwrathfulvamp, Oct 29, 2013.

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  1. Every day I think about suicide and every day I have to put it off because I have to make sure something happens first. There is never a convenient time to kill yourself. Like just a few minutes ago I was thinking.."hmm I could kill myself tonight... Oh wait I have to make sure my sister gets up to school.. I guess I could do it during school in the bathroom... Oh wait my dad might be in the hospital tomorrow and who would be there for my sister when she got home?... I guess I could do it after she gets home safely.. Oh wait".. and the cycle just keeps on going. I feel like I'm not allowed to die. I'm expected to continue on when I rather just quit. I'm just so done. I literally live just to support my sister because my dad won't do it. He is supposed to be the parent and instead I am. I'm not allowed to kill myself because she needs me. I absolutely hate it. [**Moderator Edit: Removed death threats]. Ugh. I'm just so angry and tired and depressed. I just want everything to end. Well if you read this whole thing, thank you, and I'm sorry for the ranting. I just don't know what to do anymore.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 29, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are having to take on so much responsibility when you yourself need care and understanding Is there anyone at the school you can talk to about how you feel
    YOU reach out ok you talk to someone and let them know how sad you are Keep talking to us ok we hear you and i truly do understand been there many times hun
    I do hope y ou are able to get support so you can stay and be strong for the one that does need you Hugs to you
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