to ending it all. In past 2 months, i made 3 attempts... 2 "attempts" and 1 real attempt, when i run infront of the car. I was hit, but i'm ok, i just runed away after i falled down... Anyway, my plan involves jumping and building with eleven floors. Right now, i'm waiting for something bad to happen. I'll wait a month or 2 and if nothings changes, i'm gone... although there is a high chance i'll be gone sooner... i climbed onto the top of that builiding today, and just watching beautiful snow from height and picturing myself in it... I've become anxious when i thought about jumping, but if i'd be severly depressed and drunk i could do it. I'm tired of being alone, besides it makes me feel like complete failure. Especially when i think about my friends with much harder lives (abusive families) who are fighting and rarely complaining. No one is to blame for my state, no one but me... Surely there are some nice things in my life, but none of them fill my endless emptyness, which is while i'm close to an end. As i said, after failed attempt i'm a little less depressed, so i'm waiting for another dissapointment, which will, at least in my current state, be enough to encourage me to jump.