Never considered it till now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Gohawks123, Jan 31, 2011.

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  1. Gohawks123

    Gohawks123 New Member

    My background:

    23 year old guy, in a relationship for 3 years with the most perfect person I'd imagine, recently graduated school, average looking, suffer from high anxiety (almost every situation makes me anxious), only have a part time job (15 hours/$150 a week), I live at home in a 2 bedroom apartment with my dad.

    The student loan debt and the hopelessness is what's driven me here. I simply do not want to live anymore. The feeling is paralyzing. I graduated in June, and have not been able to find a job. I have to start repaying my debt like now, and the monthly payment is so high that I will never be on my own.

    Me and my gf live an hour apart. She works and goes to school (a year away from graduating), and I can barely pay for gas to get to and from. It seems like even if I get a full time job, I will never be able to afford to live on my own ever. I cant stomach what my future is most likely to become.

    Fortunately, my Dad has a crapload of pills in his room, so actually carrying it out wouldn't be to hard.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hey! please don't do this!

    It sounds like you have some good things going for you despite all of the troubles.

    You would really hurt the people you love if you did this

    It's not like they can arrest you if you don't pay your loan

    you would have bad credit, but if you didn't have any money there isn't too much they could do to you

    if I had the choice between being in debt and having a relationship with a perfect gf, or being debt free and being totally isolated, I think I would go for the debt and the perfect gf.

    I'm not saying that your position isn't difficult, but rather that you may not see that for many people, it would be enviable. Being in debt is not the end of the world. Maybe enjoy what you've got right now, the other things can work out. You have a roof over your head and food to eat. You have some money and a perfect gf. Spring and Summer are not far away. You are young. You could have the happiest year of your life coming up. Let's say that 20 or 30 years from now, you are out of debt. You could look back on this time now and envy it as the best time of your life.

    you could also have some depression and seasonal issue that is affecting you. do you have health insurance or can you get medicaid?

    could you talk to your gf about what is going on?

    when I was your age, I had no debt, but I didn't graduate, my health was in ruins, I was completely isolated, and I went through total hell. I hope things get better for me from now on . . .

    things are tough for you now, but the perfect gf, that is something to envy

    please save your life! it may be too late for many of us to have the lives we wish we had (ok, hopefully it's not too late), but it doesn't sound like it is too late for you yet!
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