Never cut before

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by BornFree, Feb 11, 2011.

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  1. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    This feeling of hysterical desperation is overwhelming, I have never cut before but feel like I need to...
    Last time I felt so desperate I Attempted SERIOUSLY... I have self harmed in minor ways before but this desperation is too intense now... don't know what to do...
     
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    ditsy -

    sorry you are feeling this way...

    can you try to distract yourself? go get a pillow and punch the living daylights out of it? can you run up and down stairs ten times, something to get the energy and feelings out a bit? can you get some ice cubes and hold them in your hands? can you think about something that makes you laugh? can you get a rubber band on your wrist and tug at it? or something else that'll keep your hands busy and mind occupied?

    keep posting here too, get out the feelings, keep your feet tapping on the ground too.

    take care.
     
  3. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    Give your entire body a nice rub, rub every patch of skin you have, hard, like you were petting a dog or something, but rub really hard. :IrishDoll:
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Go outside Ditzy go for a walk okay play loud music call a crisis line and talk to someone they will calm you down they do help please don't start with SH it is not a good coping skill at all to start Call someone it does help.
     
  5. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Thank you... all your good advice really helped. I have managed to not cut, just been scared as I have never felt so out of control before even when my Mum died when I was 14 I was a lot calmer and rational.
    Now I'm an adult and I don't want to land up back in hospital. Its like something has snapped and I am like a loose (out of control) electrical wire... dangerous, unpredictable flailing about... I am even scaring myself.

    Thank you for listening and all the advice again x
     
  6. Nataria

    Nataria Well-Known Member

    *hugs* good job hun!
     
  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Ok. This may sound patronising etc but..... do not cut!!!! It's an addiction that will get worse and worse. I am sure you would tell people not to start smoking, to cut down on alcohol consumption, the not take heroin etc. They are all addictive and can get out of hand. Before you know if you carry razors around in your bag "just in case". You then have to make up stories about where you were, why you were in hospital, what that scar is from. The lies will make you more depressed and anxious. Being in hospital, even on medical wards will leave you wanting to cut more and more. It gets more serious each time. You go from superficial to being able to nearly get your hand in the wound as each time you need to go deeper and deeper. bIGGer and bigger. You may be told if it carries on you are at risk of losing your legs as of the infection in the wounds. The lies spiral and you can't keep up.

    So don't start, if you have never done it don't start. It makes you feel ashamed, useless etc.

    go0 to your GP. Explain that you have thoughts on self harm etc. They can usually arrange any support etc.

    Keep us updated on your goings on.

    xxxx
    :Leiaha: :hamster:
     
  8. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Thank you... you didn't sound patronising! I appreciate your honesty!!

    Well I have managed to not cut, but I kinda fell into od'ing on sugar till I pass out. I'm diabetic and I was craving choc once and I gave in and blacked out and have been od'ing on sugar to escape and sleep.

    Not the best thing I know and risky behaviour. But have managed to not cut.

    Anyways just wanted to say thank you to everyone for support!!

    Hugs
    Ditsy x
     
  9. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Hey

    For me - cutting very superficially helps me get a lot of the shit out!!! I know it's cutting without the intent to kill and it calms me

    :sigh:
     
  10. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    dont cut, it starts as oh, weelll i wont do that again, but its like a drug, you loose your mind and feel like you always have to, now ive goten to the pont where i have a razor inbetween the battry on my phone and the case. its horrible, but i cant help it
     
  11. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I have read a blog of a nurse who fucked around with her insulin and binged as part of her self harm. She was told she could go blind. Don't mess around with it. The long term health implications will be a awful, and add that in to how you feel now....not a good mixture. If you look at my blog roll it's on there...I think Crazy Nurse. It's an interesting read and will hopefully put you off.

    xxxx
     
  12. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Sorry Ditsy - my last response on this thread was entirely inappropriate.
    Keep your diabetes under control and keep healthy for your kids. X
     
  13. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Thank you... I wish I could snap out of this self hatred, everything I do or think seems wrong to the point where I don't know whats right or wrong anymore and when the turmoil is bad it seems somehow comforting to walk the wire between life and death!

    Not sure if I am making any sense... my life is unraveling and it seems I am powerless to stop it.

    Thank you so..oo..oo much for your replies
    Hugs
    Ditsy x
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can with help stop it okay coming here is good move Keep you safe okay hugs
     
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