Like everyone here, I was abused and, like everyone here, it stays with me forever. I am back in counseling for the umpteenth time and have mentally returned to the abuse -- reliving it and rehashing it. I will never be someone who was not abused. And as long as I am alive, I will have to deal with this popping -- even if it is only from time to time, it will always be there threatening to pop back. I am exhausted by this and everything it messed up in me and I am ready to be done. I am grateful I have the option of being done.