Never done

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by sofie, Jan 6, 2016.

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  1. sofie

    sofie Banned Member

    Like everyone here, I was abused and, like everyone here, it stays with me forever. I am back in counseling for the umpteenth time and have mentally returned to the abuse -- reliving it and rehashing it. I will never be someone who was not abused. And as long as I am alive, I will have to deal with this popping -- even if it is only from time to time, it will always be there threatening to pop back. I am exhausted by this and everything it messed up in me and I am ready to be done. I am grateful I have the option of being done.
  2. OnceRob

    OnceRob Active Member

    I know what you mean, I think. The memories of what happened to me are worse than what I am actually remembering because I just cant drop it, not a day goes by where I don't think about it, play it over in my mind again and again and it absolutely destroys me and there is nothing that you can do about it. Talk might help if you can talk about it which many of us simply can't.
  3. sofie

    sofie Banned Member

    I have talked about it with a therapist before...but it still comes back, again and again. Plus, it impacts me in the middle of intimate times with my husband.....nothing like having the sensation you are being molested when your husband is trying to pleasure you.

    Just glad to be done soon.
  4. OnceRob

    OnceRob Active Member

    I wonder if there is a way to block the thoughts, prevent them being real like hypnotherapy
    I'm really sorry this happens to you, it sounds truly awful
  5. Zaheer

    Zaheer Account Closed

    I hope you are doing better today
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sofie, I really, really feel sorry for you. I was also molested and raped and it's something that does stay with you but you can teach yourself ways of coping, everyone is different and will try different things until they find something that soothes the thoughts. I think going back to therapy is a great idea, get a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse if you can. The person that did this to you is scum, worthless and you are so much more than he will ever be.

    I am sorry you are going through a really rough time and the reason I quoted this part is because I had a similar experience. When I used to kiss my ex boyfriend, the stubbles on his face reminded me of the rape and molestation and it really triggered and got to me. If you ever need to talk I am only a private message away. No-one should have to endure what you are enduring. Just out of curiosity did you ever report this person to the police? Maybe getting some closure could help you whether that's by therapy or him going/being in jail. Massive hugs to you. You are special and important, I am glad you reached out here. I wish you the best of luck hun xxx
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