My story doesnt make sense. No childhood trauma. Im good-looking(by most accounts), intelligent, musically gifted. I have no classical or obvious reason to hate myself, or feel rejected, and yet i do. How will i ever get better? Money? Why cant i just be fucking normal? Tonight i really felt myself get closer to ending it all. I will not live if its gonna be like this, even periodically. I dont get it- life. Why?