I'm gonna regret being this open but whatever, it's get it out or go loopy. ******TRIGGER WARNING****** I'm never good enough. No matter what I do, no matter how much of a good person I try to be, how kind, reasonable, honest, understanding, strong, reliable it all counts for shit. I could be perfect and it wouldn't matter, I still wouldn't measure up to other guys. Even the most waste of space, cheating low-life imaginable would be preferable to me. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm a freak, a nothing, a mistake. That's what I've been called by someone who pretended to give a shit about me "The Mistake". Just go the whole way and tell me my mother should've had me aborted why don't you. That's the kind of upstanding point of view that gets you far in life - kill anyone who doesn't conform. Whatever you do don't rock the fucking boat, heavens no! Freaks ain't worthy of love, how could anyone even bare to touch me without vomiting. And the funniest thing is I actually think I'm a pretty decent guy, but people have tried to literally beat that thought out of me since I was a 16 year old fucking CHILD! Is it any wonder I can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror any more? Is it any wonder that I cut my chest to ribbons today? But even that's not enough, it wont be until everything wrong about my body is nothing but a mass of scar tissue. People say that I'm an ok guy but then it turns out to be nothing but a lie to get in my pants because they wanted an experimental thrill to brag to their friends about. Yep, I'm a fucking whore. I was told that at 6 years old because obviously a 6 year old can seduce an 18 year old. But y'know what, it's the fucking truth. I'm here to be used, so go ahead and use me. Punch me, kick me, fuck up my head, I'm used to it. Use me for sex and then throw me away cos my feelings are nothing compared to anyone else's. I'm the lowest form of life cos obviously the way I was born was my fault.