These suicidal feelings just won't go away. They leave and shrink but they always come back, each time weakening me, each time I'm closer and closer. I know it'a selfish decision to end it all, and it conflicts with my religious views, but I'm just so tired or this. I'm so tired of living and trying, I'm so tired of trying just to get beat down. I feel like my brain just doesn't work right, I've been to countless therapists, put on countless medicines, but something feels so heavy in me, so wrong. I can't do this much longer. I want to set a date and I want to end it. I've TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED TO KEEP GOING, BUT WHAT FOR? JUST TO GET HURT AGAIN? JUST TO FEEL THIS EXHAUSTION, THIS DAMAGE, I AM BROKEN. I AM DAMAGED GOODS. IM A WASTE OF BREATH. I cant do it.