Never Felt Like This

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by jdailey, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. jdailey

    jdailey Member

    Hi. My name is Jon. I am from Northwest Indiana. I'm 35 years old. I have never been depressed or suicidal one moment of my life. Until my wife of 8 years left me recently. At first I felt numb, then pissed off, then sad, then like garbage. That's where I am right now. I feel like trash that was thrown out. I don't know how she could just brush me aside so easily after all we've been through. I try to put on a nice face and act like I'm ok, but I'm not! I still love her more than anything, and she is already moving on and we aren't even divorced yet. She won't see me or talk to me. We can only text. I guess I could get over it if I knew what I did wrong. She gives me the it's not you it's me routine. But that makes no sense. I just feel so alone and low right now I just want to die. And I feel so ashamed saying that because I have evereything any man could ever want. But she ripped my heart out and I can't get back on track.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is not a small loss to face a divorce after 8 years - it is a very painful and difficult experience in the best of cases (if there could be such a thing), and feeling like you do not understand the why will make it just that much more difficult. Having been there after a 7 year marriage I can understand where you are at. Many times the old "it is not you it is me" speech is just not wanting to say. But i would also say it is often true as well. It may well be you did not do anything "wrong" and could not have fixed anything - maybe it really is/was her.
    Get a therapist and go talk to them about this if you are not able to move on, they will teach you some coping strategies specific to you. You are doing what every typical man or person in general does- trying to pretend that something that really hurts a lot doesn't. Please stay in touch here as a place to talk about how you actually feel.

    Take Care

    Ben
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Jon, welcome to SF, a very caring place to talk things through. Am very sorry to hear about your wife's leaving, that is so sad. Without even giving you the option of seeing a counsellor? Unfair. I would second all that Ben has said above.

    Life can begin again for you, as it has for so many. Be yourself with no pretence, nothing you have to 'live up' to. Our struggles are what makes us strong in the end. All sunshine with no rain makes a desert :)
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun as stated you can pick up and start again after you get over this initial shock and you grieve for the lost you can hun start over hugs
     
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