Just like to say i'm still in this world I havent been on for a while because well... everything is going right, going wonderful. I have stopped my self harming, stopped my suicide plans. My college is going great, my parents are leaving me alone, i've recently joined a band and my boyfriend is amazing as ever. Of course i have my hiccups, stress and what not but thats a college students life and thats not something to get down about Looking back its feels unreal to think i was in such a dark place with dark thoughts. Dont get me wrong i do occansionly wonder and let my slip to bad memories but i know if i fall down that road again i will never pull out and i will class myself as a quitter a failure so i'm looking up and pushing forward. If i had turely ended it back then, then i would not have the chances i have now. I would miss out on my nieces birthday, my cousins birth, time with my freinds and family and of course the one who changed my point of view on life and pulled me into the goodness of the world my boyfriend Lee. Of course the world is still dark, nasty and will pull you down at any moment. I know and have experienced the true colours of the world. Doesnt mean that i will allow it to. Doesnt mean i will give up on the joys of this world and what makes it worth living. So Those thinking of killing yourself because you cant take it anymore just think there will be that light to pull you through. You just have to hold on, reach out and pull yourself out or get support to help you if you cannot yourself. There will always be someone out there willing to help you if you only look that way and try to help yourself as well. Never give up.