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never going to get well

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by swimmergirl, Jan 13, 2011.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    i am just so defeated.

    Feel like I can't even go back into treatment, because I have been there 3 times already.
  2. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    Don't give up swimmer girl. I know you can beat this. It may take days, months or even years. Even I haven't beaten all of my demons, but I'm stomping them out one at a time.
  3. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    thanks, it just has been years of fighting, and now I don't know if I can fight it any more, or if I even want to. Defeated.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    in the same place swimmergirl depression hitting hard but holdon okay who knows what doors will open that will bring more healing hugs
  5. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    I had an ED for 8 years. If there's anything I wish I could've told myself then is that it's a disease, and by that I mean that it's not like you can out think it. There are different spectrums of it, and sometimes it can be less severe than other times.
    It's a disease, it's not you.
    There are various definitions of diseases but left untreated it can kill you; i think that's sufficient enough?
    what treatments have you tried?
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I have admitted myself for inpatient treatment three times, staying for months at a time to basically just break the cycle. I see an outpatient pscyhologist and psychiatrist and a nutritionist. The only other treatment option is to go residential, but my insurance does not cover it and it is so expensive I can't afford it.

    I was doing okay for about 6 months, but the last four months have been hell. And, I have been dealing with recovery and relapse for about the last 5 years, before that I did not even admit I had a problem.

    It just seems like something I really don't want to give up, can't give up or refuse to give up because it feels like the only comfort I have, despite how it makes me feel in the long run.
  7. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

    You know what you shouldn't feel defeated go back to treatment and defeat the devil he wants you to be defeated you should show him that you're not weak go back to treatment and make yourself stronger
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