I have admitted myself for inpatient treatment three times, staying for months at a time to basically just break the cycle. I see an outpatient pscyhologist and psychiatrist and a nutritionist. The only other treatment option is to go residential, but my insurance does not cover it and it is so expensive I can't afford it.
I was doing okay for about 6 months, but the last four months have been hell. And, I have been dealing with recovery and relapse for about the last 5 years, before that I did not even admit I had a problem.
It just seems like something I really don't want to give up, can't give up or refuse to give up because it feels like the only comfort I have, despite how it makes me feel in the long run.