Never going to make friends, never going to be happy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Sep 10, 2010.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    So after trying real hard I finally made a breakthrough with my social anxiety problem and got myself invited to a casual get togerther at someones apartment to watch a sports game, this took alot of hard work from me and was a very big step. In short the night was a disater, everyone was drunk (I don't drink at all) I was completly ignored, and worst of all when I finally left I came to the conculsion that I don't particularly like these people. 1) I am pretty sure they dont like me anyway 2) they are always drunk and are obsessed with drinking 3) they are surprisngly immature 4) we share no common intrest and 5) they really aren't nice people I mean if you saw the way they talked and touched eachother. So all my time trying to fit in has been for nothing and other groups has formed that will be impossible for me to pennetrate so once again it is the begining of the school year and I have no friends with no prospect of making friends anytime soon. I don't know how or should I even try and get by.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well done for going...*pats you on back*
    you now know these people aren't for you but you do have the ability to mix with others...
    I don't know much about schools these days but is there book clubs, study groups or something you could join to make new friends?..don't give up now you've taken the first step..
  3. themza

    themza Member

    i too have a similar problem with social type things. making friends is quite difficult sometimes. you shouldn't feel like you will "never be happy" just because youre hanging out with a bunch of people who seemingly dont care about you. they must just be careless, unloving people that probably won't make good friends anyways. try making friends with other people that are socially awkward. its like magic.
    when i feel like i have no friends i try to just concentrate on my school work or something. i consider it a "transitional period". a lot of times are. you just have to think "well these friends arent working out im just gonna focus on this and that until some other ones come along". try cooking or yoga or something fun at home to distract you until the good times come along.
    just a tip from me!

  4. thaliapage

    thaliapage Member

    well done for making porgress with your social anxiety, you should be proud :)
    although you realised that this wasnt the group of people that you particlaly want to make friends with, you showed yourself that you can take postive steps to over coming your anxiety - and you can do it again, just keep trying
  5. Marky

    Marky Member

    Yeah I remember when I was younger being like this too. If ever I was at a party or pub I would very often start to feel disgusted by the behavior of others. If you are an outsider looking in, it can seem that they are so ungrateful for their popularity and acceptance. When that acceptance is something you have never experienced, this can be hard to take. What I realised is, that its just their way of expressing themselves, they are drunk and overcompensating. It probably doesn't make them bad people.

    I did go through better times where I wasn't such a social outcast as I have become again in the last couple of years. And I saw that the truth is that actually MOST people are insecure in some way or another. With very few truly self confident. Its this insecurity that makes them overcompensate this way. Stick at it, what you have said shows you are a good person.
  6. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    Haha, I can completely relate to you on this. I've tried going to parties before, and it just doesn't work out. No matter what hopes I have of breaking through this vale of disconnection I have with others, it never works out. There's just no similar interests (and I refuse to feign interest like a phony on matters others deem worthwhile). The only thing that forms are awkward silences and uncomfortable feelings.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I felt exactly like this last time I went clubbing with some friends. Nearly everyone at the club were drunk and grinding up on eachother like maniacs. I was driving so I just observed. Cudos for going and trying to have a good time though. :smile:
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