never good enough

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by justastrangegirl, Jan 12, 2014.

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  1. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Even though i try my best to get out of this, to save me, to save us, to make you see how wonderful you are, because it's true, you are, it's never enough. I feel powerless seeing you self-destruct, when you mean so much to me, but even those feelings are not enough for you :(
     
  2. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    they have support groups through NAMI [are you in UK or USA?] for family and friends. may get friends/help there? i'm a little confused though if it is you, you are speaking of or a loved one. sorry if i missed the mark.
     
  3. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Im speaking about both of us, im trying to save myself and to save the most important person in my life, but it just seems that no matter what i do or say, it's never enough
     
  4. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    oh ok. well, you are both in my thoughts and heart. know you are loved today.

    :happysmiles:
     
  5. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Anniek :) *hugs
     
  6. LastChoice

    LastChoice Member

    My now separated wife always said that nothing she ever did was good enough. I tried to show her how much I loved her and the kids by how hard I worked. We lived in a world of lies and deceit. I was so faithful to her in our marriage yet I did all the wrong things of being a righteous man. She was the first person I spoke to and the person I laid down next to at night for 9 years. If I knew then what I know no oh how different our lives would have been. I tried time and time again to communicate with her. Now being apart, my life is spinning out of control without any brakes. I did everything to ruin what was very very important in my life and everything that has been thrown at me has debilitad me. I want so badly to just hold my wife but all the games spun on me has put a wall of fear up with so much doubt. I have come to realize that she never actually loved me to begin with and everything was planned out. I allowed the way of the world and temptation to draw me in and totally destroy what I thought I was beginning with her. I am falling and falling and I can't find anything to hold onto to stop it. This time apart has enlightened me to what was actually going on around me with her, friends, and family. No matter what, seek counselling. If he will not go, then go yourself. Work on how to get through to him. Be direct and genuine. Don't play the hints game with him. Most likely he will not get it til it's too late because most men focus on careers and providing for the family and don't put much thought into the whole relationship thing. If you truly love him, be very direct. Let him know how much you care about him and you take the first step to show him how much you truly care. Keep everything between you and him so he doesn't feel like you are talking behind his back. I would give my life to go back and go about my relationship with my wife completely different. She's moved on to another guy and I have no way of breaking down the wall between us to get her back. I have begged and humiliated myself and it did not work. It seems like this was what was planned all along and I was played my whole marriage with her. Don't give up if you truly love him. Take the first step and he will thank you for it in the end. Directly communicate communicate communicate
     
  7. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for sharing that with me, LastChoice. I know you are in such a painful situation and yet you took time to try to help me, and I really appreciate it. And yes, you are totally right, communication is the key to a successful and healthy relationship. We talked this morning and I told him that I will always be here for him and that I truly want to help him, just let him know that he won't hurt me by sharing what's hurting him. I just hope he feels he can trust me and open up to me.
     
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