Never had a chance...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by melimorgue, Jul 1, 2010.

  1. melimorgue

    melimorgue Member

    That's how I'm feeling. I have two bi-polar parents and somehow escaped being bipolar. :mortdesinos: But I didn't escape thier wrath. I'm 30 and just now realizing that I've been severely emotionally abused for my entire life. I just thought this was the way things were supposed to be. Now I feel I need to cut all ties just to survive. I've failed at everything in life. Marriage, several careers, no kids, no lasting relationships, failed suicide attempt. I just want to be normal and it's not possible. I almost got blown up in Kuwait, the VA won't listen. I herniated a disc in my low back (at work) and got fired for it. I had surgery 2 months ago and probably need more. All of this because I rejected my bosses advances. So he made me do heavy lifting for a week straight. I've been in bed or a week because of the pain. I'm never going to work again. I got rejected by the library for volunteer work without an explanation. This world doesn't want me in it. Somehow, it knows I'm totally useless. I should have been dead a long time ago.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You need to file charges against your boss what he has done is illegal sexual harrassment is not tolerated these days press charges against him. You are meant for this world you just need emotional help now some councilling to undue harm done to you so you can move forward with new life. im sorry you feel not heard. The VA write them abt your incidents document it and get proof from people you worked with that way you will get help. I hope you are getting some therapy to help you thru take care you are worthwhile and your needs are important so get help for you okay.
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I just wanted to back up every word Violet says there, she is spot on with what she said, you need support yourself to deal with everything that has happened. Living with bi-polar is hard and you need support to, to understand things from when you were younger, and also things that have happened recently.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you've had a hard life...
    violet has good advice...
    I hope you'll keep fighting and stay strong..:hug:
  5. Michael Ayin

    Michael Ayin Well-Known Member

    Excluding the surgery part, this sounds way too familar.

    I agree with going after your ex-boss for sexual harassment. Supervisors and employers are getting WAY too powermad and cocky in this shitty economic climate and are taking advantage of employees one way or another. Just because they think they can doesn't mean they should be allowed to do so.
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to suffer from bipolar and it is awful to deal with. Trust me they did not want to put you through that. They have no control over their emotions or tongues. I can only imagine the pain you felt being the one who had to endure their illness. I know they love you, and one day I hope you know they love you too. I am here if you want to talk. blessings..
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Also I agree with the others about taking legal action against your preditor boss. I doubt you are the only victim, and by you doing something about it may inspire others to come out and be able to heal from it. Blessings..
  8. melimorgue

    melimorgue Member

    I'm suing my former employer with two law firms right now. I went to the VA for help. The psychiatrist laughed at me and insisted I was only there for money. He yelled and screamed at me so loud that other people could hear it. He brought 3 other therapists in the room while he was yelling at me. I was nervous when I went there in the first place and I could barely breathe when I left. I never went back. I don't understand why I can't get anyone to listen to me. I never sleep. I jump at loud noises. I keep getting chewed up and spit out by people no matter how hard I try. I don't want to do this anymore.