I was supposed to go back to my hometown last week to help a friend clean his place up and pack- so that he could move; I ended up not being able to go anywhere along though- because I attempted again. He kept asking me why I canceled, so I told him straight out; "I'm not allowed to go anywhere on my own." he kept asking why- and I said honestly; "I attempted again, so my mom is keeping a close watch on me." Then he was quiet. Didn't say a word. I'm an open person- I'm going to tell people what they want to know- truthfully if they keep asking me. Someone told me before though- that they didn't know what to say at all... like it just completely came out of left field. I've been depressed since I was fairly young; no one ever really noticed though. No one noticed that I was agoraphobic either, though-- even though I stayed in my room for almost 9 months; missed a whole school year and the board still allowed me to pass, even though I had practically no in class time. No one noticed that I was bulimic; even though I would spend half of lunch period in the bathroom-- throwing up. No one seems to notice these things... although they've been going on for years. I don't expect anyone to be able to say something really insightful and be able to cheer me up-- I don't want them to try. I just want them to accept it, and act normally. I'm not asking for special treatment. If you can't accept what I have to say, then just stop talking to me- because it's troublesome if you act like my fucking nanny or something; because suddenly you know what I've been going through. It's fine. I'm fine on my own-- if you can't handle it, then you can leave me, too. I'm prepared for that. I don't expect anything from anyone- so just do as you please, okay? I'm sorry for your troubles- and I'm sorry if you've gone through the experience of having someone you know commit suicide. Sorry for that, really I am. It happens though. I wouldn't have said a word to you if I'd have known that you would get so upset. I'm sorry. You could've really gotten a clue though... honestly. Thankyou.