never had a gf

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by salvarez83, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. salvarez83

    salvarez83 Member


    I'm new here just wanted some feedback on my situation. I'm currently 26 and never had a girlfriend. I had my chances, but blew them. Anyway I guess one contributing factor is my weight(im around 300 lbs now). I don't think im ugly however. You can check out my profile on okcupid(free dating site). I guess Im to shy, and to big. But some women dont mind bigger men. I dont know.

    Here is my profile

    feel free to ask me any questions. And thanks for the feedback. :)
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Neither have I. *shrug*
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    For what it's worth.

    My financial adviser is well over 300 lbs and married a woman who looks like a model. He was about 45 at the time. I don't know him very well, but well enough to know that he is not wealthy (but does ok financially) has a good sense of humor, is fairly intelligent and is very outgoing with a good sense of self esteem.

    If you have the other qualities, the weight won't matter that much. It may come down to what social activities you participate in and how many people you know. The person above had a lot of friends that set him up on blind dates and finally one clicked.

    You're still young and have plenty of time.
  4. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Not having a girlfriend isn't the end of the world. (maybe it does seem it, but it's not) If your not happy about your weight, why don't you try and do something about it? Also, there must be other reasons why you joined this site. Maybe you should get those under control too before you date.

    Hope this helps.

    P.S. Welcome to SF :)
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I've never been in a real relationship, it bothers me also. Have kinda put it down to being overweight as well.
    But then I realised my low self esteem was what was driving people away. Guys would like me and I would think 'omg why does he like me? I'm fat and hideous' and in the end that would piss them off to the point of where they couldn't deal with it anymore.
    Which I guess brings me to here, I need to work on ALL of that before I find somebody again.

    Similar to what Ronnie said, I think another reason has brought you here no doubt and not just the fact that you have never had a girlfriend. That may obviously be an upsetting part of it but what else is there lying underneath that?
  6. Account Closed

    all you need is to have american\canadian citizenship
    then just come to russia\ukraine and you too will have a thin, tall, blonde wife
  7. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    :dry: :blink:
  8. Account Closed

    its the truth, i worked for a dating agency
    many russian\ukranian girls came to us looking for american guys (and some canadians)
    I also worked on some official papers with dates logs (conversations, topics..)
    and had access to many relationship records
    the result was obvious
    if you are american\canadian you will find a girl that you will like
    if you have money the chances that she wont cheat are higher
    worst case scenario she will get a green card and leave you for some other dude with deeper pockets
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    While personally I'd say it was weight, I remember the one of the hottest and most popular girls back in high school dated a pretty hefty guy, I'll call him Guy A, all the way to graduation. What happened after that I don't know, but I asked her one day why she was with him and why she broke up with her ex, I'll call him Guy B, who I thought looked a lot better. She said something like:

    "Oh, well in terms of looks, yeah Guy B was better looking but in romantic terms, Guy A is better, I just like him more."

    Of course, Guy A was also one of the coolest guys in school, high self esteem and who knows what else he had to his name, but looking back I can see why she was so crazy over him.

    I think weight is usually a problem, not just because it isn't that attractive, but it makes you feel bad about yourself and that is probably the worst part about it. Guys with low self esteem don't do a whole lot, don't go anywhere that often and don't meet new people, don't have any way to get that self esteem that they need. Guy A, being a popular guy, didn't have that problem and I think that's one of the reasons why she chose him over Guy B.

    Long story short, if your weight bothers you hit the gym and lose some of it, knowing you look good will boost your self esteem and that's a good place to start.
  10. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    ive had 2, and a fling. youre best off not stressing, or you become vunerable
  11. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Girlfriends are overrated.
  12. IDKwhatIwant

    IDKwhatIwant Well-Known Member

    okcupid is fake...
    to many emo girls wanting attention.
    or theyre pregnant and want money...

    i dont think its the weight.
    its your options.
    the more people you know,
    the more you can do.
    you just have to know the right ones.
    ...and theyre not at okcupid.