well well well, im 32 and ive never been in a relationship with anyone, and barely even had any intimate contact with anyone else, not only do i hate myself...if im honest i hate and despise other people because of it. Not only am i denied any relationship or intimacy, but society rubs my faced in it continuously, and furthermore, not only do i get my face rubbed in it, but its actually something that is socially unacceptable to moan about, especially for a bloke, and quite sociallhy acceptable to be taunted about it. not only do i want to harm myself, if im honest i am fast losing poatience with others, and qwuiote frankly want some satisfaction - now im a gentle kind man and the thought of satisfaction is horrible...but in a way i need it...and yes it is justified im afraid...anyways, its hard being a freak, and i think theres only one thing for it...ive chosen a nice song to pass away to, and often fantasise about it, but i am really afraid of killing myself, even though the thought seems nice, i would like to go and have a hot bath now and pass away peacefully...but peacefully...how do i do that...any helpo please...i dont fancy <edited-methods> or whatever, <edited-methods> is horrid, i dont know, where can i actually buy <edited-methods>, that does it quick doesnt it?:i'm sorry:
You're not supposed to talk about methods on this site, as it's a pro-life website, so you may want to edit those parts out, or just wait for a mod to do it for you. All I can say is.. if you keep thinking of yourself as a freak and putting yourself down then how can you hope to find someone who will like you and be in a relationship with you? You need to start thinking better of yourself before you can hope for someone else to see the good in you. Is there a specific reason why you haven't had a relationship before? Have you gotten out there and tried flirting with girls? Why do you say you are denied intimacy?
thanks for your comments, didnt mean to post re what im gonna do but thats what i feel so there it is, well ive tried not to think of myself as a freak for many many years now, tried soooo hard, but facts are facts...more a matter of definition and might as well acept it. im denied it as opposed failing to acheive intimacy bedauce i have tried i really have, im not a com,plete social retard, in fact im quite an intelligent social chap, get on with quite people, gentle, passive, funny nice guy...which is why i suppose i wont go far, the worlds full of a***** and so i suppose i need to be one an a****** to fit in maybe. Im denied it because clearly both my physical and appearances and personality are so xdeeply unattractive no one will ever like me, 32 years, 32 years and no one, im not a recluse so plenty of chances for someone to take a shine to me...and nothing...facts are facts and sadly circumsgtances have conspired against me, not feeling sorry for myself asuch, just pee'd off with the situation which is natural. :sad: think im going to cry
Thinking of yourself as a freak is an opinion, not a fact! We all have our own ways of viewing people, and it will often differ from what somebody else thinks. The problem with thinking of yourself negatively is that it can take over your behaviour and the vibe you give off to other people to the extent that they find you unpleasant to be around. It's a shame that you've not been in a relationship thus far at your age, but that doesn't mean it can't still happen. Are you sure there's never been a point where a woman has shown some sort of interest in you and you might have missed it? Us women can be awfully difficult to read and we don't always make it so obvious; a lot of the time we make the men do all the leg work and if you don't pick up on that then you can miss an opportunity. Not all women like the assholes, I assure you! Sure, when we're young and free I think we tend to like the adventure, but once we age we find we want someone more stable and mature; someone a lot like how you've described yourself. Keep your chin up, try to read up on some stuff about boosting your self-confidence and self-esteem and get out there and meet new people. You say you're quite sociable - go join a new club or frequent a new bar or something and get to know a few new women. There is absolutely no reason why a woman wouldn't respond to a funny, intelligent, sociable person such as yourself.
thank you, i dont beleive things can or will change but... all i meant was in this respect (amongst others) i am very different from the vast majority, so by definition thats freakish. Girls liking assholes n settling for someone rather more reliable and less exciting is a horrible thought. i know what u mean u need to be a confident pleasant person to attract people, so a vicious cirle isnt it, haviong said that i made real real efforts after 21 and came a long way, im not what i used to be, but still so repulsive never even had anyone show the slioghtest bit of interest, its embarrassing, socially unacceptable, leaves me feeling lonely, all my mates can now have kids, are married and everyone enjoys their nice little coupley get togethers, not me, not me, sad, very sad, :anony:
