well, ive found something that makes me happy but the bad thing is, its an illegal substance. this bothers me because ive become dependant on it and if im not on this substance im never happy. i really want to be happy and love myself without it, but nothing does make me happy. my life is pretty much going downhill now since ive been out of school. i have no motivation to do anything. money doesnt motivate me to get a job, i dont even care about getting a car. i just wish i could love myself, be happy, and motivated without substance abuse. any of you guys going through this?