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Never heard "I love you"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by northgirl, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. northgirl

    northgirl New Member

    I feel damaged from movies, books and general ideas about "love". I feel like I can't be whole if I'm not "Loved". I do have family and some friends and I know it's more than what many others have. But i am 27 and no one has loved me. I've had some relationships, but i was never important, I was never someone they couldn't live without. I wonder so much how it feels, to hear those words and to be special like that for someone. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not ugly or stupid, and I do give a lot to people, I try at least. It just feels so sad when my friends are loved, and I worry I will go through life without experiencing it. The closest I've been was to hear someone I loved talk about another girl he'd been in love with. But somehow, he couldn't love me. It's like ive always been "bad news" to people I've loved.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I feel the same way that you do, and hopefully someday we can find true love. It might happen when you least expect it.
  3. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    I don't know if this will relieve or disillusion you, but either way, you should know that love, true love, romanticism, etc is not as important or as glamorous as our culture makes it out to be. You can be in an otherwise fine relationship and still feel lonely and unhappy. There's a lot more to life than finding someone who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread.

    I can elaborate if need be, but I'm exhausted at the moment.
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    the words themselves are meaningless

    an abusive spouse says "i love you" usually followed by "why do you make me do this?"

    some throw them out then feel "glad that's done, now i can go back to the game"

    the truth is in the doing - how you treat each other

    and you must make the distinction between "love" and being "in love"

    being "in love" is usually how it all starts - notes, calls, holding hands, can't wait to see them again

    but that fades and if you truly have a match, gets replaced by commitment

    that to me is more precious
  5. Androgyny

    Androgyny Well-Known Member

    Beautiful and perfect response. :)
  6. northgirl

    northgirl New Member

    Thanks for writing back. I know it's not everything in life. I havent had "everything" except the words "I love you". It's just that i have never been close to someone and felt that I was loved. I dont mean romantic stuff, just wondering how it feels to be loved, that someone would know me and still love me. i know thats pretty much what everyone wants, but I just needed to let it out somewhere.
  7. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I often find myself sitting alone at night, when I can't sleep, feeling much the same thing... And it can eat me alive sometimes... But I hope you get your wish...
  8. Senada

    Senada Well-Known Member

    I second Wastingecho.
    I rather not hear "I love you", really. I feel like the words have lost their meaning. Most younger people (teens to 30s) say it to everyone and everywhere. Movies help making the words powerless, as well as making the whole thing about relationship something I believe it's not. Movies and reality are two different things.

    The only persons that have ever said those words to me are my parents (but in my native language). But they say it cause they really mean it.
  9. liktheangel

    liktheangel Active Member

    I guess I kind of feel like romantic love is overrated and misused maybe... I think a lot of people really don't know what love is and take too many examples and Ques from pop culture like the OP stated.

    Now I've never been in a relationship or anything but there so much pressure to prove that you were dateable or had a relationship in high school and even middle school. I felt that pressure and totally embarrassed myself because of it. I really only wanted a relationship because everybody else told me I needed one.

    Now I'm 21 and a complete virgin but I'm okay with that. I think it's okay to be alone. I know that I'm not ready for a relationship or dating and I've never been ready. I think a lot of be haven't heard "I love you" in that sort of special romantic comedy way at all ages.
  10. f5j23jk2

    f5j23jk2 Well-Known Member

    I've never had anyone say "i love you" to me either, not even had a proper girlfriend, and i did try, but not anymore.
    What is happiness anyway? Love? Being touched? Wanted? To have someone close to you? I have no idea, i must be a monster to only deserve to be alone and untouched.
  11. sparksman

    sparksman Banned Member

    same here in fact I always here girls talk about their boyfriends and what presents they got or are going to give them and all the other stuff and I wish I meant that much to a girl like that. For her to be able to brag to her friends about me but girls usually choose the other guy.
  12. TheSteve

    TheSteve Member

    i love my girlfriend very much but we have not yet told each other. Our best friends are the same people and they each tell us but we kinda want to wait for the best moment to express how we feel about eachother which i have a funny feeling is soon. she doesnt really know about my depression but she is the best person in the world to help me with it and she has just made me feel great. :)
  13. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Northgirl,
    Really there is nothing wrong with you, love will happen. Maybe life is exciting and love will surprise you when you least expect it. Loads of people meet partners online. I am sure you were special to boyfriends.
    You are not bad news and sound really kind, I hope it happens really soon for you.
    Take care
  14. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi PureBlueLight,
    You are not a monster and you do not deserve to be untouched. You sound a thoughtful person and I am sure love will happen for you soon.
    Take care