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Never in the relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by 21yearsgone, May 24, 2015.

  1. 21yearsgone

    21yearsgone Member

    I've got this problem that is not normal in my opinion. It's become so embarrassed because I fell in love twice with the much older man with family and children. Young men never liked me and any of them said I'm ugly. I am losing my mind because I love him so much and feel my psyche is getting worse. My father, who died was the only person who really loved me... :(
  2. damselfly

    damselfly Member

    Oh I just replied your other thread.

    I assume you see a father figure in the two old married men, yes? It's okay to adore any man of any age as long as he's unattached. If he has a wife, you're just going to ruin their marriage. How do you think the wife would feel? Find one that is single, will you.

    If people tell you you're ugly, who cares. Accept your looks and be content with it, or dress up nicely and wear makeup to make you feel confident.

    As what I told others who said "never been in any relationship", try online dating sites. It's open for anyone 18 yo and above. (But I'm also an old spinster, so...)
  3. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    In my opinion, anyone can look decent as long as they present themselves well. By that, I mean keeping themselves looking clean, wearing clothing that matches their body type, having an inviting smile on their face. Makeup isn't even necessary in my opinion, makeup is something that tends to attract people who are more on the shallow side anyway, plus it could be looked at as lying about your appearance. If you really do want to use makeup though, I'd recommend not going overboard with it.

    It's important to be happy alone before thinking about going into a relationship. If you love your life and yourself, it will make you a much more bright and attractive person, and will prevent a lot of problems that could arise in the future as far as dating goes. Every time I've gone into a relationship where one or both of us was not content with their single lifestyle, it ended up falling apart later on. I think this happens because either partner can get too clingy and dependent on the other, they could also be too lacking in confidence to bring up any needs or issues they might need addressed in the relationship because they are too scared that they will be left alone again. They might also feel like they're just settling with their partner because "they'll never find anyone better anyway".

    So, try to find a reason to enjoy life and I think that love will just come after! Look for a passion and pursue it, and if you hate your current job, maybe try to find a new one.

    And as Damselfly said, you could try online dating in the future. It can work, but in my experience it is definitely not for everyone.
  4. Dudly

    Dudly Well-Known Member

    I can vouch for online dating. You will get lots of attention and this will help your self-esteem. Just be careful, most guys are after one thing.

    I agree with Greysilence, make up will make you seem shallow and fake. Save it for special occasions. Exercise, eat healthy, dress well, be charismatic and be interesting! If nothing else your overall life will improve whether you have a boy friend or not. Go to outings, do what you can to be around people. Start the conversation! This is so refreshing when a girl makes the first move. Guys have crippling insecurities and anxiety too. Make your own destiny, don't just wait looking beautiful. Beauty fades.

    I'm going to have to disagree with Greysilence on her second point. Its true, if your unhappy with your life it can go a long way towards imploding your relationship. However, most people will never reach that point. Life is a continuous learning and growing experience, unfortunately not everyone will always be progressing. I think that waiting until your older to get in a relationship might hurt you more. This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt. Obviously don't get in a relationship Just Too Make You Happy.
  5. trevordd

    trevordd Member

    I guess, you should really try out some online dating website like Kovla. I always use it to hook up with women and girls from different countries while travelling. Take a look there too