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never talked about attacks

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by wheresmysheep, Jan 1, 2009.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i've never gone through anything that ahppened in any of my attacks.

    i dont know how to. i dont want to
    why should i have to go through it again

    will this have an adverse effect on me?
    i keep reading ppls comments that i should talk about it
    but i dont want to

    its like admitting i'm weak and damaged.

    also do peoples mothers know whats happened to them?
    i dont want to tell my mother as i know she will blame herself and also may bring back up her past; she was abused as a child.

    i dont want to do that to her..
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I was only just telling everyone in chat what I foolishly did yesterday. I got really drunk and told my mom about being raped when I was 12. I couldn't remember what her response had been so I was dreading having to face her today.She never even mentioned it :)

    I have just booked myself an appointment for counseling so that I can talk openly about the abuse and rape. You can only keep it inside so long, then the pain gets worse and unbearable.

    You really should tell someone Emma. You will be surprised at how much it will help. It will take some of the weight off your shoulders. Even if you don't want to tell your mom, try telling a close friend or a therapist.

    Being raped was not your fault emma. It's never the victims fault. You are not weak or damaged. The person that did this to you is damaged and deserves punishment.

    Whatever you decide to you,we are all here for you :hug:

    :wub: you Emma x
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    my friends know, its just the going over whta happened
    i've never gone over the attack

    i just
    dont know
    i dont want to

    but i want to go on
    i dont know

  4. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    It sucks that you have to go thru it again - It is scary, it is horrid,

    it relieves the shame, and it releases the memory....

    If a diamond is thrown into a dung heap - it stinks, it is a waste, but the diamond is still just as valuable as it was to begin with. the ones who threw it into the filth are the stupid ones.

    YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! The perpetrator is the one who should feel bad. You are a valuable diamond that needs some help cleaning the filth away so you can shine again.

    Until you face it, package it away with the help of someone who can see it clearly, and put it away in your basement of memories you never want to review again; you are destined to relive it in your emotions and mind.

    "its like admitting i'm weak and damaged"

    You were hurt - horribly so - but you are not weak, because you survived.

    If you need to talk, reach out...I've been through hell and I wasn't strong enough for literally years, to reach out. It takes tremendous courage.

    It also sometimes gets worse b4 it gets better but it does get better. Facing it is so hard you need someone to help you or it can become overwhelming.
  5. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry that your moms aren't there for you. Mothers should be there as a stable loving influence always there for you... A place of safety

    I guess your mom was too overwhelmed. It is hard for anyone to hear - especially when the person gets all emotionally caught up in what they are being told. She may be incapable of handling it - this takes strength to come through. I'm sorry she isn't strong enough to be there for you - it isn't you.

    I hope you can find a safe place to be heard and held.
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Tbear i do nt know you yet, but than you so much, your words comfort me in ways that havent happened before. thank you :hug:
  7. NPNS

    NPNS Well-Known Member

    Hey Emma.

    :hug: I'm sorry that you feel you can't talk to your mum about it - I've got the same situation with my parents. Mum was abused by her father when she was young for years, and even though she's worked through all of that I don't think she could face hearing about what happened to me.

    TBear is totally right. You are strong. You can get better with a little help. You NEVER have to be scared to reach out for the help. I know it's hard, but YOU haven't done anything wrong at all. You're only doing yourself an injustice by bottling it up and dwelling on it. The healing process is hard, but please don't forget that there are people here that will support you every step of the way. You're not alone. :smile:

    :wub: x
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