i have never been this depressed. i use to self harm along time ago. pain is so bad i gave in to self harm and feelguilty now. but it didnt help the depression any. i am only starting therapy. saw doc for the first time to be evaluated for meds. he asked me if i had a plan and i told him no. i dont know him yet.i saw my therapist 2 times for an intake. havent seen her in 1 and 1/2 months. she can only see me every 2-3 weeks. i had a car accident and could nt make an appointment. but i know i cant trust her yet either. the road im on is a very dark and narrow road. i have never had a plan.i am scared. there is not much to hold onto. helppppp. i can only live in this pain for so long.