Never thought id be here again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by poisonedresistance, Feb 19, 2015.

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  1. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    its been years, literally

    fucky as it seems.

    its all about methods, madness, different ways of controlling those painful thoughts that rip through your soul.

    When you know youve fucked up,, granted 10 years ago....

    but you have to watch the ripples, the effects and consequences of that fuck up grow and expand. destroy the fabric of who you are as it cripples those around you, so you retire inside yourself and get by each day by ignoring everything, brushing it aside and ploughing ahead.

    hurting the people you love the most as you go.

    I dont come here,,,,, because ,,, I dont go there.

    I hide away and pretend everything is alright, be bold, be loud, be angry be anything but me.

    tearing away at whats left of me,,,, knowing that I dont deserve to be here.

    ive lived for 10 years waiting to die,,,,,,,, with nothing ahead of me, blinkered from whats behind me and never looking where I stand.

    I'm tired of dreaming.
    I'm through with trying.
    Tired of living, yet scared of dying.
    Maybe things are good for you,...

    tool-schism - i know the pieces fit

    im thinking of you
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2015
  2. Tables

    Tables Member

    You say no why. I assume that's the hardest.

    It's like something you've grown out of till you need it. At least that's what I've found. I was fine. Then lost something and I reverted to form and the only way to deal was pain. again. :/
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