Never thought my life would end in a bathtub

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by sleeper82, Nov 1, 2006.

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  1. sleeper82

    sleeper82 Member

    Sup everybody,
    I want to to tell you about my suicide attempt which happened alittle less than a year ago. First of, Im glad I didnt go trough with it because I have learned about social anxiety since then and its made me more comfortable knowing that Im not the only one that goes through this.
    Ne-way back to the story, I was living in Montreal with a roomate, some guy I worked with who was also suicidal by the way but we werent close or anything, we had totally diffrent lives. So one night I was home, drunk, feeling like life screwed me over and I would never be who I wanted to be, never good enough, always second guessing myself(thats really annoying btw), just feeling like lower than dogshit. So I decided to end it, went to the bathroom and got a razorblade out of the cabinet. I dont remember what was going through my mind at that moment but I turned on the water in th tub, and sliced my left wrist. The cut was not nearly deep enough cause I was testing to see what it felt like then I remeber saying to myself "Am I really doing this", I felt ashamed and seeing the blood drip out of my wrist was scary, thats when I closed the water, rinsed the blood and balled my eyes out. It was a horrible feeling of aloneness, like being at a dead end and then turning around and its another dead end.
    I havent tried since then but Ive thought about it but Im thank life for letting me get through that.

    Sleeper
     
  2. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    Beautiful story. Your a true example of the beauty of life, especially when one realizes it through such an event. Thanks for sharing =) We're happy you never went through with it too.
     
  3. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    Wow. What a tale. I am glad you have lived through an attempt. :smile:
     
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