I am AlaskanIce, and this is my first post to the forums. I've been in so much pain lately, physical pain. I'm always used to having pain as it never goes away, but this time around its particularly bad. I cannot get any relief and cannot get comfortable. Doctors are next to useless as all they can do is prescribe me stuff. It isn't yet at its worst, but if it follows the trend soon I'll be paralyzed in bed, unable to move for any reason for at least 1 full day. As for the mental/emotional... I feel that I am the most indecisive person on the planet. Maybe I'm too depressed and in a fog, but I cannot find anything for myself. No career, job; I have no passions or goals or aspirations for myself. Aside from biking until I about pass out, I have no hobbies to speak of. I even stopped eating breakfast because I could not choose from all the options; currently, I eat only one meal and some chips during the day if I become very hungry before making it to dinnertime. Major depression (or whatever the correct medical term is, I don't really care) and suicide ideation tops it all off not-so-nicely. It's getting to be too much. I don't think I can carry on like this for much longer.