New 2 U

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by jeannate, Sep 9, 2009.

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  1. jeannate

    jeannate Active Member

    Hello all. I joined the SF because I suffer from chronic pain and depression as a result of the pain and other reasons. When the pain gets particularly bad, I wonder why I am sticking around to suffer. It is kind of sad because if I do decide to give up, I know exactly my plan. < Mod Edit - Methods > That leaves no chance to be saved. The thing is, I don't want to do that. Many times the pain although awful, is tolerable. I never know any time where I don't have pain of some sort, but I am alright when I am able to cope with the pain. I am on pain medications and depression medications and they help. However, it doesn't fix anything. My biggest problem with my condition isn't the pain, it is feeling utterly useless. In my condition I can't really work. I help take care of my elderly mother, but now I am at the point that I can't do this any longer. So what am I good for? Well that is how I often feel anyway. To top it off, I am not that old either. I am about 38 and it feels like my life is over. It is a very difficult feeling to deal with. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that. I just would like to know others who are in pain and hear how they deal with their pain. Pain has no limits on how bad it is and the intensity of the pain is only able to be evaluated by the person suffering it. Plus people in my real life are sick of hearing me talk about my pain. I have also talked about how I wanted to commit suicide as well and I often think they are saying to themselves, "Well shit or get off the pot already." So I keep my fool mouth shut as much as possible. But sometimes you need to vent to someone and when people are sick of hearing about it in your life, you need to find another outlet. So hopefully I can be a helpful resource to others and others can help me. Look forward to talking with you guys and getting to know you.

    J
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2009
  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Sf :)
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to sf :hug:
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    welcome to SF gun is not sure thing knew guy did this and just endedup being blind for life stay here for support and vent get the pain out that way
     
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Welcome to SF!!!
     
  6. |- Lost :☆: Dream -|

    |- Lost :☆: Dream -| Account Closed

    Hey, hello there and welcome. I hope that you come around and feel better and a purpose regardless of your current condition, and that there is a brighter future ahead of you.
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello and welcome to the forums!! Have you talked to your doctor about going to a pain clinic?? I suffer from major migraine headaches all the time..I use to take pain killers all the time but found myself abusing them so I quit takeing them..I still take the other med for migrains and just try and sleep thru it..I hope you feel better.. We are here for you so please keep talking to us..
     
  8. jeannate

    jeannate Active Member

    I have a pain doctor and I am treated by a pain clinic. But there is a limit to what they can give me. I am already on a substantial dose of pain meds. I don't want to add anymore long acting pain meds and the breakthrough pain meds aren't always enough to cover my break through pain, but I cope. Even with pain meds, you can still sense the pain and it places great limits on what your body is able to do. I don't wish to get on anything higher because I am already on a large dose and if I get into an accident or require surgery, I still want pain relieving options available in case I need them. I get this thing called sympathetic pain response....which means that the pain receptors are being blocked in my brain so I don't feel the pain, however my brain and body sense it. That is a hard concept to explain but it makes me very weak, I sweat profusely, I vomit, sometimes I have passed out, so more pain meds won't control a reaction like that anyway. My biggest problem is the feeling on losing out on my life. I can't walk far distances, I can't do any semi physical activities, I can't play sports, etc..... Those limitations are more than I can bare sometimes. I have been on pain management for 8 years now. Believe me it is thrilling....LOL. That was sarcasm - by the way.

    But no need to worry, sometimes the urge to kill myself is strong, at least while my mom lives I won't commit suicide. She needs me too much. But I know that feeling of hopelessness that makes you feel you need to stop all the pain. That feeling nothing ever goes right in your life, that you are always fighting such a tremendous battle, that few people would care if you lived or died, just this endless sadness that never abates. People can say suicide is selfish, stupid, hurtful to others, etc. and it is. But when you are in that deep depressive mindset and you can't imagine one more minute of the emotional and or physical pain, it can be impossible for many to pull back from being on that edge.

    Thank you for the welcome everyone.
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forums. I am glad you are seeking out help and support. :shake: :hug:
     
  10. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hi. :) funny thing is my dad works at a place called new 2 U
     
  11. poetbassplayer

    poetbassplayer Active Member

    "I am about 38 and it feels like my life is over. It is a very difficult feeling to deal with. I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me or anything like that. I just would like to know others who are in pain and hear how they deal with their pain. Pain has no limits on how bad it is and the intensity of the pain is only able to be evaluated by the person suffering it. Plus people in my real life are sick of hearing me talk about my pain. I have also talked about how I wanted to commit suicide as well and I often think they are saying to themselves, ..."


    Hi jeannate i am a newbie also and truly relate to your post thanks for sharing.


    cheers
    PBP
     
  12. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    welcome to the forums.

    if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to contact me.
     
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