Hey, new here. im jus gonna jump right in, try and explain but looing for some much needed advice. Been feeling suicidal for a long long time. tried to hang myself 9yrs ago, panicked, have been down, low for long time. s/h weekly sumtimes more. Od'd on ad's few weeks ago, as can see didn't work. have been seeing CT 2/3 times wk since then, seeing a MH consultant mon i am worried that if i tell her my thoughts might end in hospital. the CT have asked numerous times whether i would go in, (they've given me choice). have kind of said to them dont want to be here. i also dont answer alot of their questions, dont want people to find out and judge me. i do want help but also know there's no point. it doesnt get better. im indoors pretty much all time, im holdin on to get to my place far away to hang myself, i dont want to do here for people to find me, i dint know what to do, please response would be really helpful to me. Sorry for hogging didn't intend to write so much.