Hello, I apologize for a long post. But I'm afraid I may be at my breaking point in life. There's no future for me and no clear path to follow. I came here because I can't talk to anyone I know. I've been to a therapist and she could barely remember my name or who I was she had so many patients, and then asked for the money. Then they suggest meds and I swear hearing the side effects makes me even more depressed. I'm on enough meds as it is. I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 18, 8 years after going to doctor after doctor, wondering what it was. They never found out what it was from. My father treats me like shit. I still live with my parents and I'm 24. I got laid off about a year ago. I was a graphic designer for a small ad company and was..happy about it really. There was nothing to do. I've lost interest in everything. I'm an Illustrator that doesn't feel like drawing. I can't find a job. I live in Chicago. Sent a million resumes and not one call back. The worst thing is seeing the looks on people's faces that have a job, like I'm not trying. And then I got sick back in May, with what seemed like a sinus infection for two months, and then migraines every day up to today. I've been to so many doctors. I'm on medicine after medicine. I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take the fear of my seizures anymore. My father constantly treats me like shit, and my relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years doesn't feel right. I don't want to wake up. I feel like I'm just a nuisance and all I do is play World of Warcraft all day because it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. My friends have moved away and moved on. My bf got laid off and is making no effort to find a job. My parents have to help me pay my health insurance at 400 bucks a month. There's a train by my house. And I just stare at it. Just one step off the platform. No more pain or seizures. No more disappointment. People would get over me. I'm just someone in the background.