As the screen name shows..
i'm Puck..
i'm not sure how turning to words on a screen typed by those i can't see can help.. but i need to turn.. somewhere. T.T
I'm not suicidal but am (if that makes sense).
I don't want to end things but i also can't go forward.. I trully feel.. helpless (in every sense of the word).
i DO know this..
I'm a 28 year old father of 3, ex-drug addict, dealing with more pain than i could ever wish on somebody else, haven't slept in 7 days, haven't eaten in 4, have resorted to cutting (to the EXTREME) with no desire to stop, break down over the dumbest of things, have no forseable future or experience to fall back on, scream for help (and fail to recieve any of any signifigance), have nowhere to turn, i want to die but i'm to stubborn to let myself take the easy way out (this time) and trully don't know what to do. I know i look like i went sprinting naked through thin hallway lined with razorwire and i have to hide it from my children (only 1 of which lives with me). i'm seeing a therepist but what do you do when they run out of ideas and break down into tears upon realizing they have done nothing but make things worse (seriously). I also know i can't trust 1800suicide. they don't listen. All they do is scare everybody by sending police and ambulances to your house. This forum is a last ditch effort.. if i can't find help here.. .. .. i give up.
On the note of cutting.. how can i combat blood loss? i find myself woozy all the time and having to wear multiple layers to hide the blood that seeps through. i drink orange juice (like they give you at the blood bank) and it doesn't help. i'm good at stitching and emergency field medical applications so the wounds are treated.. but i still have resposibilities and this wooziness is making them hard to fullfill. i also know that if i stop cutting.. .. well.. you know. its the only thing that works. The only thing that dulls the internal pain, fear, frustration, depression, hopelessness, numbness and all the other things i don't feel like typing out right now.
I..
..
..
just need help.
Please..
..help me
i'm Puck..
i'm not sure how turning to words on a screen typed by those i can't see can help.. but i need to turn.. somewhere. T.T
I'm not suicidal but am (if that makes sense).
I don't want to end things but i also can't go forward.. I trully feel.. helpless (in every sense of the word).
i DO know this..
I'm a 28 year old father of 3, ex-drug addict, dealing with more pain than i could ever wish on somebody else, haven't slept in 7 days, haven't eaten in 4, have resorted to cutting (to the EXTREME) with no desire to stop, break down over the dumbest of things, have no forseable future or experience to fall back on, scream for help (and fail to recieve any of any signifigance), have nowhere to turn, i want to die but i'm to stubborn to let myself take the easy way out (this time) and trully don't know what to do. I know i look like i went sprinting naked through thin hallway lined with razorwire and i have to hide it from my children (only 1 of which lives with me). i'm seeing a therepist but what do you do when they run out of ideas and break down into tears upon realizing they have done nothing but make things worse (seriously). I also know i can't trust 1800suicide. they don't listen. All they do is scare everybody by sending police and ambulances to your house. This forum is a last ditch effort.. if i can't find help here.. .. .. i give up.
On the note of cutting.. how can i combat blood loss? i find myself woozy all the time and having to wear multiple layers to hide the blood that seeps through. i drink orange juice (like they give you at the blood bank) and it doesn't help. i'm good at stitching and emergency field medical applications so the wounds are treated.. but i still have resposibilities and this wooziness is making them hard to fullfill. i also know that if i stop cutting.. .. well.. you know. its the only thing that works. The only thing that dulls the internal pain, fear, frustration, depression, hopelessness, numbness and all the other things i don't feel like typing out right now.
I..
..
..
just need help.
Please..
..help me