Hello, This is my first post. I never knew this place existed until today. I have been severely suicidal for two years now. I had three traumatic experiences happen within 6 months of each other, the main one being a doctor who performed surgery on me that I did not consent to, and which left me in physical pain, and also really traumatized me psychologically. I have dealt with depression on and off for over 14 years, but I was able to cope. I graduated from college, went to graduate school, and law school. I had a job and was doing okay. I never felt suicidal, actually, just down. Meds helped me, but now they do not. I have attempted suicide in the last two years, but was stupid about the way that I went about it. I really did want to die, and I feel horrible that I survived, mainly because I wasn't doing it for attention. I have pretty much lost everything in my life: my family, my friends, my love, my job, my interest in anything. I hate feeling this way. I have tried CBT, general therapy, pretty much every medication out there, but nothing works. I have lost hope. I used to be happy and hopeful. I wanted to contribute to this world in a positive way. I just wanted a "normal" life. Now I just want to die. :depressed Anyway, if you've gotten this far, thanks for reading.