I am 46. I have one failed marriage and am now married to a man who has a good heart, but serious issues of his own and can be emotionally abusive. I have 2 special needs kids. One is an adult and still lives at home, one is 11. I also am a full time parent to 2 stepsons, who have emotional/behavior problems. Though I have made some bad decisions in my life, I have always tried to do the right thing. I have been a good employee, and a pretty good wife and mom. My problem is not that I am NOT depressed, but that I am plaugued with bad luck. Partners who have turned on me. Children who are born with serious problems and need constant care. Parents with addictions and personality disorders. Health issues of my own. Most of these things are beyond my control. To be honest, I'm tired, and I think about dying everyday. But I can't. I have an 11 yr, old autistic child who would never recover if something happened to me. I am everything to this beautiful child. So on top of everything else, I feel imprisoned by this child, who I love dearly, but he is keeping me from leaving this terrible life. So on and on and on I go. Hating the fact that I have to wake up every day to this lousy existence. But with no hope of an exit. Not until my youngest is in a place were he is well taken care of. And that will be YEARS.