New and want to end this miserable young life.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KIM23, Aug 25, 2011.

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  1. KIM23

    KIM23 New Member

    I'm 23, female and from England.

    My dad died suddenly 4 months ago, not long before I graduated from uni. Since uni ended I haven't left the house apart from going to the bank and sorting things out. I couldn't even attend his funeral, I was a mess. I also have a long history of depression and anxiety.

    I've been applying for jobs and have been getting nowhere, so I've been stuck in this house ever since. I have no friends here. The only friends I had were in uni but they've all gone back home now and don't contact me at all.

    I'm the next of kin to my father, only child and he wasn't married to my mum. He didn't have much money or his own house, he was in a lot of debt and had loans from everywhere. The only money to come to me was the bond money from his rented house. Because I'm next of kin the banks and all the companies want to talk to me, but I can't face anyone.

    On top of this I have no money. I'm living on the last £200 of my overdraft from uni, and have been since he died. I can't face getting a part time job, and I can't face going to the job centre because when I last contacted them they treated me like scum... and right now, I can't take any more. One person could treat me like that and I'd just go and end it altogether. So this means I can't even go down to the job centre to sign on or get any kind of money.

    My only outlet to the outside world is this computer / the internet. But this computer I'm using now is not even 5 months old and it's having major problems, in fact it's almost gone altogether. The warranty runs out next year however my dad kept the receipt when we bought it, but now I can't find it so that's gone too. How am I supposed to manage when this goes? I have no money. I can't afford a new computer. I can't afford to live. Why does this have to happen now???

    I live with my mother. She has no money too. She is on disability and she lives in a rented house. She can't afford to help me with money and I have nobody to turn to.

    On top of this, the people my dad owed money to, such as the bank and bills are all contacting me looking for money! I have no money!!!

    I just feel like, wherever I turn just knocks me back. I lost my father, I've got banks and companies contacting me every 5 minutes, I can't face anyone, I have no money to live, I can't go to the job centre, I can't even get a job, my computer decides to die on me now and what's left?

    I have nothing and no one. I have nobody to help me. As far as everyone is concerned, I'm on my own. I see nothing more to live for.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry, all this stress as well as a loss of a parent must be devastating.
    I would recommend going to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They should help, and I have heard good things from folk who have been.

    Have you considered that you may have Social Anxiety?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun you need help okay you get to your doctor get some help to deal with the loss of your father YOU owe nothing hun it is not your debt it was your fathers YOU look after you right now okay call your doctor get some therapy to get your head straight get on medicaiton for you anxiety depression then with help and support you can deal with the rest hugs to you
  4. anonymousss3

    anonymousss3 Member

    Just remember, the banks can't hold you responsible for your father's debts. They can't do anything to you, but you might be able to tell them to piss off and, if they don't listen, threaten to call the police. They can't and shouldn't be allowed to contact you that often to ask you for the money that YOU never got from them.

    You should just take whatever job you can (don't jump on the job too quickly, it's never a bad thing to compare offers), even if it's just a few days or part-time. We're all currently in a recession, which means that jobs are getting scarce. There's currently loads of unemployment, so you'd have to be extremely lucky to find one that exactly fits you.

    I don't know much about socializing and stuff, as I'm only 16 since 25 days now and I'm also quite anti-social, so I won't give advice on something I don't know much about.

    Wish you the best of luck!
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF, Kim!:hug:

    Here reading your posts and thinking the best for you,


    P.S. R.I.P your father
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