I'm not sure how to start. I've wanted to die for pretty much half my life. I told myself that I would live past a certain age and I've reached that age and honestly my life feels like it's crumbling down. I found out within the last year that my mom is dying and that right there doesn't help. I would love nothing more to kill myself but I don't want to hurt her. Here lately I don't even care anymore. I didn't cut for over 2 years, but in March I couldn't take the stress anymore. I regretted it. thought of suicide came flooding back and it's the only thing I can think of anymore. I've tried to talk to friends about it but everybody brushes it off they all leave me. I've never been treated for depression never even thought about going. I don't know what to do.