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New baby and still don’t want to stay here

New grandchild is born last week yet despite the happiness it has brought me, I still want to check out. The on,y thing holding me back is the devastation. It would cause my family and the fear of Dying itself and of going to hell....talking with my shrink tomorrow. Thanks for letting me vent. I want to live just not like this.
Talking to shrink is positive development. Please reveal your concerns and feelings in details. Good luck.l
I am almost afraid to give him the details for fear of hospitalization....though I do not have a plan. But let’s face it. If he is going to help me, I need to be truthful....he will just through another med at me But it’s worth a try. Have therapy Friday.....


Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
we are the same age so i understand some of your issues. i don't want to live like this either. so we have 3 choices. 1. just give up and waste away, 2. suicide, 3. do everything we can to make our life better, even if it's just a little better. i choose 3 and it sounds like you chose 3 also. keep fighting it's worth it.

i also fear what it would do to my family and hell. so try to enjoy your grandchild and be there when he graduates college. and most psychiatrists won't hospitalize unless you re an immediate danger to yourself or others. basically if you have a plan and immediate timeline. if you ever want to talk feel free to inbox me...mike...*hug*shake


Well-Known Member
Sometimes I think what causes us the most pain is not living but knowing someone has a better life than we do. So we feel our life is shit, that we're bad etc solely from knowing other people (at a glance) seem to have a happier life than we do.

It hurts. It hurts so damn much knowing you might never get the same life as those we are jealous of. It hurts knowing we won't have a life comparable to those we look up to.

But then..why measure your life's value in regards to other people? Why think you're not a successful person just because some else is? Why feel like a burden to friends and family when the truth is they love us, successful, happy or sad and lonely?

Sometimes I think we have to change our way of thinking. Accept what our lives are and we won't be as happy and contempt as that person we saw on the telly. Sometimes we need to downsize our expectations of life and just take some pleasure in what our lives are rather than we would hope it was.

You have a grandchild. What I wouldn't give to have that and see that grandchild grow. I know it might sound hollow but you do have every reason to want to go on living. There's a ton of experiences waiting for you out there. And I'm sure your grandchild is gonna make you feel happy and contempt in the long run. You're truly blessed. Keep writing in here. We're here for you. And yes, I know it hurts and feels pointless at times. But it does pass. So hang in there, if not for yourself then for your grandkid. He/she wants to get to know you too.

Please take care and stay safe buddy.


✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Hi there,

So you have the psychiatrist tomorrow and therapy Friday. Both are very positive things.

Be honest, do not hold back because then, their hands are tied and they cannot help you leading you to feel worse and your health and money wasted.

Explain your fears of hospitalisation, you said you don't have a plan so tell them the other feelings you have and hopefully ye can work out something together. Medication changes might help, are you still taking Klonopin/is it still helping?

We are rooting for you, you can do this *hug I believe in you.

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