My doctor handed me a great piece of news on monday. BPD. It explains alot, and at the same time very cryptic. I consider myself an educated man. Graduated near the top of my class with a masters in of all thing Psych. But I always new i was a lil off...but somehow i missed it. I went to deny it at first, but as we went over the checklist together, it hit me like a slap in the face. Its me, I cant deny it. Everything I do, in life, to myself, behavior towards others, its all their, in black and white(BPD pun aside). I lost my very lucrative career in law enforcement due to BPD related issues. I sit here jobless, my education is now useless, seriously, who in the hell is gonna hire me. and i see myself slipping into this cycle of self abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Everything I have been taught works on others, but not myself. Just ranting....My apologies.