New DOD

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anasgirlx, Dec 6, 2010.

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  1. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    New Date of Determination is December 10 (Friday). I have already planned out my method, time, and goodbyes. I just want to thank everyone here for your support and love. It really means alot to me and I dont know how I would have survived this past month without it. But, now it is time. Time to move on to a better place, where noone can hurt me anymore. I'm done with all of this, I've had enough. I'm very sorry to anyone I hurt or may have hurt in the past. I didn't mean it, really.


    I love you all very much. Thank you for being my only friends.



    Goodbye. </3
     
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Ashely

    Look up Firecracker from Katy Perry, listen to it really loud.

    Please dont leave us, you have so much to live for, this damn depression wont let you see that.
     
  3. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I set dates also, when I am feeling particularly low and suicidal, I plan ready for the day, but when that day comes closer, my mood has usually lifted and so I set a new date. This has served me quite well and I have not attempted for several years.
     
  4. Nishi

    Nishi New Member

    Are you sure there is a better place ? Are you sure anyone can't hurt you there too ?
     
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Hope your feeling better today, if you need to talk get ahold of me.

    A
     
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Why are you doing this?
    xxxx
     
  7. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    I dont see any other way out. :'( I dont know what else to do. I'm so sad, so low, I cant get out.
     
  8. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Tell me five bad things about your life and one good thing
    xxxx
     
  9. DrNick1010

    DrNick1010 Well-Known Member

    Ashley,

    Please stay with us. I know it's hard right now, but please don't go. Set little goals for yourself. Tell yourself, "If I can make it to December 11th, I'll be alright." Just take it one day at a time. That's what I've been doing for the past few weeks and it really helps. Sometimes reading the Bible helps me. It really makes me aware of God's presence. Lately I've also been reading a booklet on depression and it has really changed my outlook on the whole thing, knowing that someone went through extremely dark times like I'm going through and came out on the other side. I'm a big reader and sometimes I like to think of myself as Frodo Baggins on his way to Mordor. The road through depression is dark and confusing, but some people overcome it. I make it my quest to overcome it, no matter how long that may take. Another example I think of is from "The Shawshank Redemption." If you haven't seen it, rent it. It is one of the most uplifting films of all time. Here's a little spoiler: to get out of prison the main character, Andy Dufresne, must crawl out of a sewage pipe. There's a quote from that movie that's always resonated with me, "Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side." Take life in little, manageable chunks and it becomes easier. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help, though it sounds like you've already done this.

    I hope you're around to see the sunlight on December 11th.
     
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't do this to yourself Ashley. :hug:
     
  11. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    There is no way out. Everyday, I am belittled and humiliated. I am made fun of and teased. Every morning, I wake up, feeling like a complete failure both socially and academically. Every day, I want to die.

    Five Bad Things About My Life:
    1. School
    2. Family
    3. Peers
    4. Sexual Assault
    5. Girlfriend


    One Good Thing About My Life:
    1. Is there ever anything good? If there is, I cant think of it right now.
     
  12. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Ever wonder why you put yourself in the hands youve listed above, what makes them the ruler of your life?

    Ashley I dont see anything that cant be changed with some work from you, youve got to get yourself under control, stop depending on others for your happiness, it has to come from within YOU.

    If you had noone or nothing else to complain about on this list and everything youve listed was to get better, do you think you would be better?
     
  13. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    Screw all of this. None of this is helping. I'm done.

    Peace out, SF.
     
  14. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Ashley, you dont have to do this, please call your mom!!!
     
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Ashley please don't hurt yourself...
    get yourself some help asap...
    talk to a doctor, go to the hospital,
    you don't deserve to die because others don't understand you
    we understand here that overwhelming feeling of helplessness
    if you're being bullied tell the school counselor..tell your family if they don't wake up to themselves they will lose you..
    you are a worthwhile human being and you deserve a better life
    keep fighting ..I know it's hard but I believe you can do it :hug:
     
  16. anasgirlx

    anasgirlx Well-Known Member

    My therapist wants to send me back to the hospital but I refuse to go. I wont go back there again. I just got out 40 days ago.
     
  17. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    But you said last time that it made you feel so much better, why the hesitation?
     
  18. codkid

    codkid Member

    a few good things...

    food - think about your favorite meal or snack. could you really give that up? I LOVE cheetos myself.

    a nice hot shower - idk about you but taking a hot ass steamy shower where I totally cleanse myself and just stand there in the heat relaxes the hell out of me.

    music - who doesnt LOVE music?? no matter what happens you can always count on music to calm you down.

    favorite movies - movies inspire people, no matter who you are. watch some movies that have inspired you. a favorite of mine is inception.

    well those are just some generalized things that are good in life, well at least mine. I'm sure you can think of tons more:hugtackles:

    dont give it all up!
     
  19. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey I hope you are still there!

    I don't know if there is anything that has been done about the harassment that you are getting.

    I think if you are being bullied at school, there could be action that could be taken. if your school isn't helping you, maybe a letter from a lawyer would help to focus their attention.

    bullying is getting more attention as a legal issue, and especially if you are suicidal the school should be doing a better job of protecting you.

    do you think your parents could be convince to take you out of school, at least for a while, if you are being harassed?
     
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