I'm an 18 year old guy and I've always been fairly happy with how my life was going, things were good, life was good. Until recently (and when I say recent, I mean the past few months) I have been experiencing some horrific feelings that I haven't ever had before. Things in my life have just seemed to decay in front of my eyes. I can't explain these feelings as well as I'd like to be able to, but thoughts in my head have been consisting of how life is so pointless and I really can't bare to go through it all. We start school at a very young age, and our whole childhood pretty much revolves around it, then there's college afterwards which I have already wasted 3 years at, as I now have no interest in what I was studying. I'm growing up, and I don't like or want it. I see myself getting a job, working every day of the week, not finding anyone to show affection to and love. Everything just seems so pointless, and I really don't want to deal with the shit that comes with living. I am unhappy, and I just do not know what to do about things. I sit there at night and I don't want to live anymore. Sometimes I plan things in my head, and convince myself that I will not live any longer, and as each day goes by, it just gets worse. The only thing that can make me feel any different is music, and that just numbs it and allows me to lose myself. For me, life doesn't seem worth living, and I don't want to do it anymore.