New here, and I'm probably going to kill myself tonight.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Falling Apart, Oct 26, 2006.

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  1. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    Sup... Anyone here think<mod edit shygirl: no methods please> will work. Hopefully it will.

    well that's the plan anyways.. I dare u to try and talk me out of it :laugh: .
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2006
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Sorry you're feeling so bad... want to try and share what's been happening for you? But we don't share methods here though... so please respect that rule.
    Shygirl
     
  3. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    :cool: that's cool.

    nothing really.. same old same old. life sux blah blah. feel the same way i did since i was young except now i'm even more pathetic. so i might as well end it before this shiot gets any worse.

    u know.. if i just would of ended it when i was 9 like i had planned i wouldn't still be in this crap world. One can dream right.
     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Sounds to me like you want some help, other wise why come to a pro-life forum and 'dare' us to talk you out of it. We can't talk you out of anything, only you can do that, but we can support you and giving you a helping hand thru this difficult time.
     
  5. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    of course u can't :laugh: .. that's why i dared u too.


    there is no one "particular" difficult time. It's just been a little bit over a decade of continuous pain and crap like that.
    ..... It's just that now I finnaly have an easy way to end it YAY.

    and i guess i thought i'd share. that's all.
     
  6. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    Probably and going to kill yourself are two different things. Glad you are here to help get the pain out.
     
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Well in my opinion deep down you want help, i don't see any other reason for coming to a support forum and making a thread that your gonna kill yourself.
     
  8. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    well i say probably, because i'm hoping to do it tonight, but i know it's still going to be a little hard to get over that little pesky HUMAN WILL TO SURVIVE thing that's like imbeded in our brains.
     
  9. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    i think i'm just bored. ... i know u won't be able to help.
     
  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    You never know, this place can help a hell of alot, helped MANY people here, may help you if you give it the chance.
     
  11. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    Hoping? See that doesn't sound like someone who is sure your going to do it. When your truly suicidal... you will be certain of what your going to do. I think you just need someone to talk to. And your right... you got a will to live to deal with.

    There are good people here that can really be friends with you and help you get through it. I think that is the solution you really want... because if you were really going to kill yourself... you would just do it and would not make the effort to talk to us here. So I really encourage you to just open up and tell us what hurts and why you want to die. Trust me there are a lot of seasoned veterans here... myself included.
     
  12. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    or i am planning on doing it and i figured why not.. what could it hurt seeing as i'll be dead by tommorow. huh.. did u ever think of that dude :tongue: .
     
  13. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I don't think any of us why someone whos planning to kill themselvs comes to a pro-life and makes a thread saying their planning to kill themselvs, it doesn't make sense to me and proberbly Dead_Alive or to anyone as a matter of fact, i really think deep down your trying to reach out for someone and too scared to admit it.
     
  14. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    I did not mean to make you angry... I must confess to you that I got the flu and do not feel good either right now so I apologise.

    So why do you want to die? If you look at my history you will see that I am no different than you are. I guess the difference is that I have tried it and I can tell you that suicide should be the last option and when I am ready to go.. I am certain I will succeed next time. So certain that I even have my funeral arrangements made.

    I guess I am trying to say that we are both in the same boat... I got no business trying to talk you out of it... as you will not be able to talk me out of it should the day come and I can't cope any more. But till that day comes... we can try to get to know each other and help each other out.
     
  15. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    u didn't dude.. (that's probably just the way it seemed or sumtin) I don't think u could make me angry. I'm in such an upbeat mood today :laugh: .

    naaaa.. i think the difference is that when u decide to do it, it's because your in alot of pain and crap at the time (that's how it used to be for me). But now, it's because it seems like the most logical choice. It really doesn't matter if I'm sad or not at the time i attempt to do it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2006
  16. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    Ok.... ummm how can you be upbeat and suicidal? When I get suicidal... I am in a deep dark pit and I writhe in emotional pain. I slept with a gun and used to cry when I would stare down the barrel and do dress rehersals of pulling the trigger.
     
  17. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    Hey um you know... I play runescape. I started playing that game when someone at a suicide crisis line referred me there. They have a free version you can play... and I recommend it till you get the hang of it. You should check it out. I have gotten really good at it. Anyway it is at www.runescape.com and it is really fun. :rolleyes:

    I don't feel well so I am logging off.
     
  18. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    well let's see... it's because i've dealt with the pain for so long that I have just become in a way numb to it. I really don't think i have any emotion.. I'm kind of just very apathetic to everything and everyone around me. so killing myself in my book is like cleaning my bedroom or taking out the trash.. it just aint a big deal. But just like a chore to a kid.... it MUST be done.

    Well I think that's it for me...... see ya.
     
  19. Dead_Alive

    Dead_Alive Guest

    But you see... it isn't like taking out the trash.. you know deep down that your hurting and being numb is true... but when you get down to business and you know your going to die... don't you have any regrets or anything that you wish could have been different before you die? Suicide is a very personal issue... it is not something to take lightly... and you only got one life... and when you take it... you will never see the blue skies again... you will never feel the green grass between your toes... you will be dead.
     
  20. Falling Apart

    Falling Apart Member

    darn.. i thought i was done. lets see......

    of course i have regrets... i wish my family life would have been better... wish i didn't turn out the way i have, but i did.

    You see ur right when u say that "I only have one life"... so true. And that life has been messed up. Time only goes in one direction u know. can't go back and fix anything.

    actually.. for me.. it's exactly like taking out the trash. That's kinda where i differ with most of the suicidal/depressed peeps out there. I hear the same old cliche "Ur Not ALone"... well for me.. yes.. i am alone. or at least part of a very small minority :wink: . I just see things in a very different way. I'm guessing the same way those homicidal maniacs see it.. except.. i'm not evil.:cool:
     
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