Hello everyone, I dont have many people to turn to because not many people care. Those who do care, dont wish to hear what im about to say, so I thought id put it here for the record so when I am gone people will know why. I have had it, im 23 years old... I have 3 kids, and a girlfriend that doesnt give a shit about me. Over the years ive made terrible choices, ive stolen from loved ones... ive used drugs... I cant keep a job because im impulsive and walk out on my job, and my children choose anyone they can over me. I cant take the pain of not having life anymore and I plan to end it, it feels like im dead already. No matter how hard I try, I am not appreciated and im just always looked down on by my whole family. Ive tried, I REALLY have and nothing I do is even good enough for me, much less everyone else. I am poor and I cant provide for my girlfriend or children any longer and im living in my mothers house, with no way out. I wanted it to happen differently but as we talk I can hear people slamming doors and my girlfriend walked in without saying hello to me. I just wish someone loved me, but they dont. Im a hard person to love because im so depressed that im just downright mean to people, but I dont know how to control it. My life is out of control with no repair, my kids deserve a real life... maybe when im gone their mother will find a good man with a good job and just tell them that he is their father, they are very young and wont know the difference. I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANY LONGER... so with that, I bid a goodbye and thanks for reading my sob story. - Derick Lazell - 23 - born 11/01/1986, will die today.