New here, could use some support

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stuck in wisconsin, May 20, 2009.

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  1. I'm dealing with a lot of issues in my life right now.
    Been having suicidal ideation for several months without much break from it.
    Suffering from symptoms of anxiety, depression, ocd, and possible HPPD.

    Not much of an introduction of myself, I know, but I don't really know what to say, or what not to say. I just know I need to say something to someone
    thank you :mellow:
     
  2. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Can you say anything as to why you feel suicidal? It is hard to deal with the feelings. What I have learned though is to delay it to the next day. Most times the next day the urge is less.
     
  3. crying_wolf

    crying_wolf Active Member

    maybe your like me, i don't like to express my feelings to anyone. in real i look normal but im not so good, i am sad inside. I don't like to talk much, i been browsing this forum for a while, maybe a year and i have post a few times.


    anyways i felt like saying something, :p
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Eric. Glad you found SF but also sorry you need to. As for what to say.... say whatever you're comfortable with. But you will find out sooner than you think, you'll be talking to other members here via posts, chat and pm's. It is so much easier to talk to people that really understand where you are and what you are struggling with. Please read some of the other threads and posts. Lots of helpful info even if it is just to learn that you arent alone with your demons. SF is a wonderful place to send time when you are feeling lost or suicidal. Even if you cant "talk" to others just reading the posts and spending sometime answering some can help to get you past the extreme part of the urges. And you are more than welcome to pm me anytime. Hope you find some support here and even maybe make a few friends along the way. Be safe Eric.
     
  5. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    All of SF is here for you :) Join us in chat sometime! A lot of healing happens in there <3 PM me if you need aprivate audience :)
     
  6. Ants

    Ants Well-Known Member

    I've been suicidal for dang near 31 years. Not day in day out, but I have always considered suicide a viable option. Then it goes away. then it comes back. Regardless I am glad I am still here. And I am really glad I found this forum! This time was as bad as the first time which was the worst time. I am mostly past it but I still come back here. Partly for the reality check that I get here and partly because at times I feel I can help someone else who just can't take it anymore... Yes you can.
     
  7. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    Just having a place where you can say "suicidal ideation" without getting looked at cross-eyed is pretty special. There are some threads that will tell you what you can't post - they're sticky so they're always at the top.
    The prevailing attitude is "don't do it!", which I personally find a good thing. My own feeling is that we lend each other the strength to make it through the hard times.
    Welcome and stay well.
     
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Eric,
    You can learn to set the suicidal thoughts aside..Some people even get them to stop.. I deal with mine dailey.. I have a morning ritual that helps me most of the time.. I tell myself "No You Won't Have Me Today" Then I set the thoughts aside and come on here to help distract them..The thoughts for me never go away totally they sneek back in a few times during the day and I have to deal with them..
    I have been in therapy for four years and have made progress in some areas and not so much in others..My therapist is after me to go do some volunteer work somewhere to get me to come out of my isolation..
    See how easy it is to just start rambling.. When you feel comfortable tell us more about you..We are here to help!!! Take Care!!
     
  9. hey all!
    thank you so much for responding.
    sometimes knowing that even if its a total stranger, but knowing that someone values you in some small way, it helps.
    I'm feeling better lately, today was the first day in awhile i didn't have to take a xanax to keep from flipping out.
    My basic story is this:
    at 17 (in 1997) i had a horrible experience on LSD, the next day I started having panic attacks and anxiety, been to various counselors over the years when needed, but never felt suicidal before.
    The anxiety came back in november of 2008, accompanied with depression, and I wasn't dealing with it, just drinking every night, sleeping around, and trying to pretend I was fine. Things got bad, and I decided to move from richmond virginia to a small town in northern wisconsin to stay in my parent's basement, and get my life back.
    i'm lonely, the weather here sucks, i'm not used to driving everywhere and being in a small town, i have no friends up here, and i'm too anxious to go out and make friends anyway.
    Finally found some free health care, and will start back up with lexapro tomorrow. Met with a new counselor who I clicked with...
    i'm feeling hopeful today, and i'm trying to hold onto it.
    I hope that you all are as well!!!

    a few questions:
    they prescribed me ativan rather than xanax which i'm used to. anyone ever used both these meds at different times...any difference in the way you felt, or side effects?

    -anyone have a persistent and pervasive fear? how did you cope with it and try to get past it? ever since the bad trip in 1997 i'm terrified someone will put LSD in my food, or my drink, or on my skin...it's now gotten to the point where i have to wash my hands anytime i touch something i deem as possibly "tainted". i opened the mail-wash my hands.i touched the newspaper-wash my hands. I hugged my nephew today and his shirt was wet and my first though...somehow my nephew got LSD on him.it gets more ridiculous than that at times, but i don't want to go on a long rant.
    its disrupting my life and i hate it.
    sorry, had to vent, 12 years, same fear, need help ridding myself of it.

    thanks again for responding. I'm here to talk if you ever need it as well. I have a bunch of coping methods i've been recommended, maybe one will help one of you when you need it
     
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