New here - for a specific reason

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jtts, Jul 27, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jtts

    jtts New Member

    Hi,

    I was in hospital last weekend because I tried to kill myself. This was the second time I tried, the first time being almost a year to the day ago. This time, after the fact that the doctors in the hospital helped me and everything, I decided I would go to the doctor and try to get some help.

    I went and he prescribed me prozac, and this week I have also been seeing various mental health nurses and such. I have another appointment on Friday and no doubt they will ask me, "How are you? Are you having any thoughts of harming yourself?"

    The truthful answer to that is, and has been all week despite what I've told them, yes. I have a plan, and currently I intend to go through with that plan this weekend. But I'm sure I won't tell them that.

    I can hardly even pinpoint a reason for why I feel like this. There are factors, I'm homeless, jobless, broke and in heavy debt. Most of my friends are no longer my friends, I have very few family members left with any time for me (a lot of that is my own fault). But these aren't the reasons, I don't think. It's something else I can't put my finger on at all.

    To be honest, I'm not afraid of it working, I'm more afraid of it not working and waking up in hospital again with doctors who, frankly, have better things to do then deal with my attempts to kill myself. So I hope it works.

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Welcome, David.

    I don't know if you believe in psychiatric medication helping with suicidal thoughts that won't stop, but nevertheless I hope you give the Prozac a chance to work over time, as meds like that usually take at least a few weeks to help. If it doesn't help, then it's about finding the right mix of meds that can help relieve your pain.

    Until then, I hope you continue to stay safe :)

    Lastly, you're welcome. It's my pleasure to listen. You were pretty clear about what's going on with you in your post, and I appreciate that. :D
     
  3. jtts

    jtts New Member

    Hi, thanks for the reply.

    Yes, I know that these sorts of meds take a few weeks to work. So in that regard, I guess I'm not giving people much of a chance to help me. But maybe that's another thing that's 'wrong' with me? Maybe I don't want help.

    I've never understood why wanting to kill yourself is *necessarily* a sign of mental instability. I'm sure for the most part it probably is, but is there ever an instance (and I'm not talking about people living in physical pain who want to be ethuanised) where if somebody wants to do it, they should just be allowed to? When the ambulance came to help me last week, I asked them to please leave me alone and that I didn't want their help, but they said they "had" to. Why do they have to?
     
  4. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    I think if you talked to other people who were not suicidal, they would say they would want to stop you. Often life is all we have. I don't know your religious beliefs or non-beliefs but what I do know is that we don't know what happens after we die. Maybe nothing, maybe everything.

    Why did the EMT have to help you? It's their job, it's their belief, there is the belief that people who want to kill themselves are not thinking clearly and will eventually be glad they didn't complete the act. Medical workers (EMT, nurses, doctors) have an obligation to try to save the lives of everyone they come into contact with.

    Should everyone be allowed to chose whether to live? If there was a way, and there isn't, to be sure they were thinking clearly then I would say yes, but people who are thinking of killing themselves who do not have terminal diseases are not likely to be thinking clearly. There are many medications that can help with depression and thought disorders. There is hope. With hope there can be life.
     
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Jtts! :)

    I don't know if what I say will be meaningful or just stuff that you've heard time and time again, but I'll try to respond as best I can to your questions. ;)

    Maybe you wish the meds would just work immediately so you could figure out what works for you ASAP. I understand what you mean, and I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with you, other than that you are having a hard time coping with the pain and anguish that you're going through (that's not 'wrong' per se, either). You may want to have your mood improve faster than what's possible, and that's not your fault to want to feel better.

    I think we all have times when we are or can be characterized as being "mentally unstable." Really, I get a little tired when people use the word "mental" to describe some people who don't need a label like that. I've always thought of it in some cases as a situational, not long-term or lifelong, label.

    Also, the people from the ambulance have to try to help you if they have reason to believe you are in danger. It is part of their job. There are instances of terminally ill patients being granted their wish to die, but you are not terminally ill.

    Most importantly, I hope anything I said was helpful.

    Alex

    P.S. Anneinside's responses are spot-on and similar to what I typed. I just saw that now. Kudos to Anneinside. :D
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2011
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.