Hello. How does one describe oneself when one feels utterly worthless and empty? I shall try. 172 cm. 56 kg. Female. Just over 30 years old. Mathematics PhD student. Studying in a foreign country. I've had terrible feelings about myself for at least ten years, maybe more, maybe as long as I can remember. And right now, I just don't know what to do. I guess I just need to say these things "out loud". I'm very much hoping these forums will help. I don't want to die, but sometimes I just see it as completely inevitable. maths.