New here, just looking to find myself

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by anibarry121, Dec 20, 2012.

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  1. anibarry121

    anibarry121 Member

    I just started this site a few weeks ago. Still getting used to it. The chat rooms are easy, not quite sure about the forum sites though and where to go. Most of my days are days that I fall apart. I try to talk to the few people around me but they just don't seem to listen. From an early age I remember my mantra being" nobody likes me,everybody hates, I'm gonna eat some worms" crazy huh? Always an over achiever, probably the only way I could get positive attention. home life wasn't bad, just not positive. I never learned to make friends and still don't have any. Moved too much in my early years. Never really feel like I belong anywhere. Always on that middle fence you know. Half american, half certainly didn't make you feel accepted on either side of the continent. school and work went the same way. I just don't know where to go right now. My dad died of cancer, diagnosed in April, died in July. while I was at the hospital someone broke into my back yard, not closing the gate completely and my beloved dog got out and got hit by a car, still not over that suddenness of dying. I know happy is a state of mind but I can no longer find it. Funny usually I tried to be optimistic and made sure there was always laughter around despite 3 failed marriages and all that. I hate whining, that's why I don't know how to get out of this funk.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi anibarry sorry you have had such a rough time hun Have you talked to your doctor hun a therapist about being so down It is good you are reaching out here lots of people understand hun and no judgement just care Hugs to you
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    hi ani - and welcome to SF - we are a caring community and here to give encouragement and support without judgement - because we've all been or still are in dark places and are all too familiar with the feelings you describe. I know it is sooo frustrating when you realise you're in a position you don't want to be in, emotionally and mentally, and can remember the good times about how life used to be when happy. But I've become convinced through my trials and struggles that these times happen for a reason, although we all would rather they didn't happen at all.

    Do hope you like it here and join us on our journeys and that somethings may click with you by way of insight to shed some light on your path :)
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I lost my much beloved (and old cat), 2 months before I lost my father.
    The double blow left me reeling, and even now, 2 years on, I'll suddenly and uncontrollably weep.
    Grief takes its own good time to heal and the missing them bit seems to go on for ever, but time does make it more and more bearable.
    Have you considered a rescue dog?
    There are so many animals desperate for a loving home and a new dog might help with the healing.
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