Erm, i'm 15 years old. I self harm and have an eating disorder. Possibly OCD.
5 weeks ago I attempted. I overdosed. Not a majorly bad one, but I thought it could kill me. Unfortunatly i'm still here. I was taken to hospital in the middle of the night and it was the first my parents knew about my self harm or that I was even unhappy. My dad shouted at me calling me "ridiculously stupid". My mum cried all they way to the hospital. At hospital I wasn't allowed to close the curtains on my cubicle in A&E in case I did anything again. I had my blood taken and was talked to my doctors and nurses.
I was taken to a ward in the morning. I had an arguement with my mum and ran away from the ward. I ran through the hospital crying looking for the way out, I wasn't really in a state to read sign posts. I finally got out and I just ran. I was crying and shouting at myself and trying to hurt myself on things. I guess I must have looked pretty scary, people where crossing to the other side of the street. The police where called on me.
When I got back i got my blood test results back and they where within safe limits. I talked to the mental health people there and was discharged.
All those memories hurt so much. It's been just over 5 weeks. I should be over it by now. I hate how weak I am. I don't want to be weak.
I feel so guilty for all the people i've hurt. For wasting the hospital's time, the police's time, my parent's time. It's made me more suicidal since that night. I guess maybe the fact i'm in councelling is giving me some small thing to hold on to. I'm scared i'll try again. It's a bridge that's easier to cross the second time.
Anyone know how to get over this?
5 weeks ago I attempted. I overdosed. Not a majorly bad one, but I thought it could kill me. Unfortunatly i'm still here. I was taken to hospital in the middle of the night and it was the first my parents knew about my self harm or that I was even unhappy. My dad shouted at me calling me "ridiculously stupid". My mum cried all they way to the hospital. At hospital I wasn't allowed to close the curtains on my cubicle in A&E in case I did anything again. I had my blood taken and was talked to my doctors and nurses.
I was taken to a ward in the morning. I had an arguement with my mum and ran away from the ward. I ran through the hospital crying looking for the way out, I wasn't really in a state to read sign posts. I finally got out and I just ran. I was crying and shouting at myself and trying to hurt myself on things. I guess I must have looked pretty scary, people where crossing to the other side of the street. The police where called on me.
When I got back i got my blood test results back and they where within safe limits. I talked to the mental health people there and was discharged.
All those memories hurt so much. It's been just over 5 weeks. I should be over it by now. I hate how weak I am. I don't want to be weak.
I feel so guilty for all the people i've hurt. For wasting the hospital's time, the police's time, my parent's time. It's made me more suicidal since that night. I guess maybe the fact i'm in councelling is giving me some small thing to hold on to. I'm scared i'll try again. It's a bridge that's easier to cross the second time.
Anyone know how to get over this?